Back to life, back to reality

I am home again, in my own bed, exhausted to my utter core and unable to button my pants. 

Turned on my Blackberry when on our layover in Houston and (long story short) I have depositions tomorrow, Thursday and Friday AND I have two "hold jobs" that called and ordered. Which = BUSY AS HELL. Yay, I need the work. But crap, I am tired and would really like to unpack, do laundry, regroup and watch shows on Tivo. Maybe next week? Also, my house? PIG STY. I need a couple of days just to work on cleaning. Ugh.

I put Carlie to bed at 7 p.m. She needed it. She cried on the plane when we left New Orleans. She wanted to stay. She wants to move. Why can't we move? It's so not fair. Then she started crying again when we landed in Portland. Because? LOOK AT IT! IT'S RAINING! IT'S RAINING! I HATE RAIN! And the second crying jag? Complete with an affected southern accent, which she still had as of bed time. More tears at bedtime, this time wondering if daddy could just come visit us if only she and I move to New Orleans. Oy, this kid.

I left my car in the shop while I was gone for a tune up. Got the tune up, an oil change and a transmission flush. And got the news that my transmission is leaking and needs repairs to the tune of $1600. OF COURSE IT DOES. Why would it not? This is my life.

Also, when we walked into the mechanic's shop to pick up my car, Fox News was on covering the shooting on St. Charles Ave. at today's Mardi Gras festivities. You guys, this is effed up. This shooting? This was not in the French Quarter or in a "rough" area where things are kind of dicey and people are drunk and partying and prone to stupid behavior. This was in a family friendly area, very near where we hung out for the parades, where crazy stuff like this doesn't happen. I have yet to watch the news and see the details but holy hell.

It's 8:30 p.m. and I am GOING TO BED. Alarm is set for 6:15 a.m. for Carlie's violin lesson, school drop off and morning depo. It's amazing how fast a vacation ends, isn't it?

Day 5 review

Day Five was our most jam packed day so far. There were three day parades and one night parade. And unlike Saturday, we didn’t have a friend with an awesome house to hang out at. We were on the streets. All day.

We got a late start and didn’t get out to the parade route until noon, so we missed the first day parade. But Carlie made up for it by making the most of the next two parades and hauling in an assload of loot. She had a blast and was once again hustling with the best of them.

Then we had a three hour break, spent at a playground and eating lunch, before Bacchus rolled. It was kind of a disappointment. Part of the problem was the parade was very stop and go. So there would be a five minute stretch of no movement, and then when they moved they’d haul it to make up the time, so floats ended up either sitting there doing nothing or whizzing by.

The low light of the evening: Carlie was down on the street (as opposed to perched on the ladder) and came back from being float side with an armload of beads. And dripping wet. Literally dripping. Not damp, but DRIPPING. Someone on the float had obviously leaned down to hand her the beads or something and spilled their drink. Which was a pina colada.

Thank God she was able to laugh it off and I had leftover paper towels in my purse from lunch. We got her cleaned up and she was good to go. Unlike Saturday night, when SHE bumped into ME, causing ¼ cup of wine to be spilled on her leg, one leg, between the ankle and the knee. She cried hysterically about that. But a full pina colada on the head? No problem. Whatever.

Photos and tales of the after-parade trauma that was us trying to return the borrowed ladder and haul all of our shit back to the car, coming soon. Oh, and remind me to tell you about the soiled underpants that I picked up in the dark, thinking it was a tee shirt. Good times! But tonight it’s early to bed for me. I am exhausted. And we have our day at the races tomorrow. Can’t believe our visit is winding down. Wow.

PS: Wrote this Sunday night but couldn't get an internet connection to post it, so am posting it Monday morning. And we're off...

Day 4 Photo Highlights

Wow. Day 3 was here and gone so quickly that I didn't get anything posted. I spent the day hanging with my dad. We went to his warehouse and I found my roller skate pom poms circa 1978. Awesome! Carlie then proceeded to wear them in her hair today. Hawt!


The big highlight of yesterday was the feast we had at my brother's house. He dry aged a ginormous piece of beef and it was good! and no one died! Also, he and his wife have a gorgeous baby girl who I could just eat with a spoon. And finally, it has happened. I think the children outnumbered the adults at dinner. Scary!


Here's a group shot from today. There are two kids missing in the photo, one stayed home because she wasn't feeling well and the other was being a freakazoid about getting up on the ladder. Also, there's a little girl hidden behind a big cousin in this photo. But my point is, lots of kids.

The boy in front, Gunner, is my 13 year old nephew. You can't tell from the picture, but Carlie is sitting on top of a ladder and I am standing behind her, then we've got two kids in a bench seat perched on top of a ladder with my sister standing behind them. We are in the front yard of a gorgeous home on St. Charles Avenue. Gunner is perched halfway on the front of the ladders and half on the fence of the house, spidermonkey style. He's quite agile, isn't he?



This is Lana, and her momma and brother. Is she not the cutest thing? And yes, she is a baby with beads around her neck. And yes, she's still alive, so shut up. It's Mardi Gras. It's what you do. And next time I babysit I'll put her to bed on her stomach surrounded by lots of cozy stuffed animals and a big fluffy pillow. So there. You can't see it under the hat, but she has RED RED RED hair. Not much of it, but what's she's got is RED.
We went to two day parades, then the gang split up. My sister and I took Carlie, nephew Jackson (age 2) and nephew Gunner (age 13) to Endymion, a big deal night parade. But we had time to kill. So we took the kids to a bar and they had a burger while we had beers. God bless America, that's how it should always be. No photos from the bar, though. Damnit.


After the bar, we did a little tailgating and watched a wedding.


We watched Endymion from the spectator bleachers at Gallier Hall, where Mayor Ray Nagin was MC'ing the parade. He appeared and sounded like he might have been a little drunk. Just saying.


Get ready... here comes the Grand Marshall of Endymion...

It's him. Take my word for it.

Followed by a "special guest"...

Viewing the parade from the bleachers was a little too tame for the street hustling kids, so they hit the street and clung to the fencing. Front row, baby, all the way.

I've got more pictures that I wish I could put up, but we are using two cameras and one of them is in the car. That's the one with photos of the gorgeous house that we were at today. So fine. And the photographic evidence of Carlie's bead hustling abilities (i.e. 175 pounds of freaking beads and stuffed animals).

If the weather is not crap tomorrow, we're going to three day parades and one night parade, which is Bacchus, which is a biggie, with grand marshall Val Kilmer. We're spending Monday at the race track. Because now that we've taught the kids how to go to bars, we need to teach them how to bet and gamble. Tuesday we head home.

IMG00245.jpg

We? Are tailgaiting in the parking lot of a new orleans hotel. They? Are getting married in the coutyard of said hotel. How much do you think they are loving us and three children gawking thru the wrought iron fence?

guess what?

In the French Quarter, you can bring your kid into a bar for happy hour! Yes-huh.

Don't worry, though. I brought my 13 year old nephew along too as our designated driver. It's all good!

Carlie's first Mardi Gras parade

Check out Carlie's pom poms... I used to wear these on my skates at the skating rink every Friday night grades 7 to 10. Can you say HOT!?

We are on St Charles waiting for parade number two of the day. Carlie is proving the nature versus nurture argument by demonstrating great mardi gras street prowess even though this is her first time. When the beads are flying, instinct kicks in.

Day 2 Photo Highlights, in reverse order for whatever reason

The gang, all jacked up on crawfish, prepping for the 200 mile walk back to the ferry.

Feast No. 3 of the day... super spicy boiled crawfish. And beer. A table of tourists next to us was overheard whispering "Look at how they make those babies eat those crawfish."

In case you were wondering what the NOLA open container law is, it's okay to walk around with PLASTIC containers, just no metal or glass. Good to know.

Because? People do get thirsty. Sheesh.

Frozen daquiris. Sludgy deliciousness with a straw. Flavor of choice? White Russian, but that's just me.

Our first stop after the ferry ride, The aquarium. This was in the rain forest.

Mommy, why does that big lady have a beard?

THE PLAN: Take the Algiers ferry to Canal Street, walk the couple of short blocks to the Aquarium of the Americas, look at cool underwater shit with the kids, eat dinner and take the ferry home. Avoid the French Quarter. Because? Kids. And Mardi Gras.

THE REALITY: Aquarium was fun for, like, half an hour, and then the mommas were thirsty. Walked around Jackson Square but not quite into the gnarley part of the French Quarter and had a couple of beers and mushrooms stuffed with crab. Decided the French Quarter did not sound like such a bad idea after all, and trucked down Bourbon Street with kids in tow. Picked up frozen daquiris along the way. Then stopped at another spot for more beers and boiled crawfish.

That's when we get the phone call from my sister in law, that my dad is "just going to sleep in his car" until we get home, because we have locked him out of the house. While he was at chemo. Rather than leave him in the car, my brother went to dad's house, brought a ladder with him, and after cutting through one of the window screens he managed to get dad in the house.

Meanwhile, as we are enjoying beer and boiled crawfish, a very large tranny with pink hair comes out of the restaurant kitchen and into the dining room. Mr. Lady was carrying a large tray of fried seafood and wearing an elbow length yellow rubber glove on one hand and a surgical glove on the other. I assumed he/she was a dishwasher with the yellow glove, but why just one? Anyway he/she proceeded to scarf down the platter of fried food, with the gloves on.

After the dinner entertainment, we had to walk back to the ferry, which by this time was really, really far away. Uneventful ferry ride with a really spooky looking guy, DUI-less drive home, and now I am going to bed.

Oh, we get home and dad wants to watch a movie. So we watched The Changeling. THANK GOD Carlie fell asleep almost immediately into the movie. More later on my dad's reasoning behind why it is OK for kids to watch rated R movies as long as they are not porn.

help?

If there is a shooting on the ferry tonight, this guy totally did it.

at the aquarium

Jelly fish, sharks and gang signs, oh my!

ferry ride

We are right now on a ferry crossing the Mississippi River, going to the French Quarter and Aquarium. It is a balmy breezy sunny 70 degrees ish.

Birthday 1975

We're heading off to the Aquarium and the French Quarter for the day, but I wanted to get this photo up before we go because? priceless.

This is me, apparently turning 9. So the year would be 1975. And in the background? The bicentennial wallpaper. The photo is faded, but the wallpaper was VIBRANT red, white and blue. And the fact that it was up in February of 1975 for the bicentennial celebration of '76? That's right. TOTALLY AHEAD OF THE TREND.

On close inspection, you'll find eagles, the Liberty Bell and minutemen. Plus, like, roosters.

I've got other groovy pics to scan when I get home. I grabbed this one with my ghetto laptop web cam. The photos serve to prove that I have been totally awesome my entirely life. Seriously.

PS: Good news! We did not suffer avalanche, home invasion or fire last night. Score!

Now I lay me down to sleep

You guys, if I survive the frickin' night, it will be a miracle. Things that have me fearful for my life:

1. The precariously perched mountain of shit, I mean childhood memories, hovering behind the sofa bed that I am now laying in, as evidenced by the above posted photo.

2. My dad asking 75 times before we went to bed, "Are you sure no one needs anything from the car? I'm setting the alarm. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE UNTIL IT'S DAYLIGHT." Like we're under siege, which I guess technically we are in this neighborhood. Because? Ghetto.

3. The pot of water that my dad is insisting on leaving BOILING on the GAS STOVE overnight because he gets "dry." Huh? We are in NEW ORLEANS, a city under SEA LEVEL with 100% humidity ALL THE FUCKING TIME. And he's dry?

If I had had less wine, I would probably be freaking out. But instead, I am going to bed.

this place is a goldmine

So far I have found a box of eight track tapes and my box of Barbie clothes. And that is just in walking in and putting down my bags without so much as opening a closet.

Damn you, continental airlines, and your absurd checked bag fees. How am I going to get this shit home?

I know! I'll drink more wine and the answer will reveal itself to me.

king cake

Happy birthday to me, yo!

seriously

Flight attendant in 3+ inch pumps. Wtf? Also, you have no idea how sneaky I had to be to get this pic.

It is 73 degrees with a billion % humidity outside, but more like 90 degrees in the airport.

A dipshit drenched in Axe just sat down next to me and is trying to read this over my shoulder. YEAH YOU, DIPSHIT.

It bears repeating: are we there yet?

Throw me something, mister!

Guess who just booked a flight to New Orleans on her birthday for Mardi Gras? I'll give you a hint. Rhymes with ME THAT'S WHO.

My dad had his first round of chemo on Monday and feels great. I want to get down there and visit while feeling great is the case. And I want to take Carlie to Mardi Gras. She's never been. I haven't been in at least the 11 years I have lived in the PNW and probably a couple of years before that when I was living in Houston.

A brief and informal social studies lesson: Mardi Gras is on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday. And Ash Wednesday is a lents-worth of days before Easter. And Easter kind of floats around. So Mardi Gras floats around, too. Sometimes mid to late February and sometimes it even falls in early March.

This made my birthdays as a kid really exciting. Because sometimes Mardi Gras and my birthday coincided EXACTLY, which was THE BOMB. And oftentimes they didn't, but my birthday still fell in the "season," and that was okay too.

I loved having a King cake for my birthday cake. If you have never had a King cake, go here right now and order one. They deliver! Anywhere! And I loved the years that my birthday fell on a weekend in the Mardi Gras season and I spent my birthday at parades. This was back in the day when kids chased floats and there were no barricades between the parade and the parade goers and no one got killed at a Mardi Gras parade, or at least not often. (After I grew up and left N.O. it seemed like all I heard about on the news was someone being run over by a float every parade weekend.)

When I was a bigger kid, I loved marching in parades as part of my school's drill team. I wish I could dig up a picture of that. Oh, wait! I can! When I am in New Orleans at my dad's house for Mardi Gras! I need to make a note to myself to search for old photos. 

When I was an even bigger kid, one of my craziest yet most fabulous Mardi Gras memories includes a keg of beer being pulled through the French Quarter in a little red wagon. Back in the day, New Orleans did not have any open container laws and drinking in the street was the norm. (And in fact, they only passed the open container law in probably the last decade and it is not even enforced, especially at Mardi Gras I would imagine.)

But memory lane aside, I am looking forward to this trip immensely. Not for the drinking in the streets either, thank you very much, because I'll have my 10 year old with me and my sister will have her 2 year old with her. I'm looking forward to seeing my dad for the first time since his cancer diagnosis. I'm looking forward to seeing my brother and his family, especially their gorgeous not yet one year old baby girl. And my sister and her family. And since I am staying for a week, I may even have time to put the call out to hook up with old friends that I haven't seen in a long time. 

This is going to be sweet.