As it turns out, I guess I was wrong about all of those girls, aged 12-25, who walk around with their coin slot exposed. They aren't trashy after all! It's the jeans, people, it's the jeans.
Today I put on my "costume" jeans, which I bought in the junior department, because Hannah Montana does not wear mom jeans and I am Hannah Montana for Halloween. I thought today would be a good day to wear them, you know, to make sure I can walk and bend and breath and whatnot. The jeans are a size too big and they are baggy. Why did I buy new jeans a size too big? Because every freaking pair of junior sized jeans with skinny legs measures about 3" from the crotch to the waist band. All of them. I have already ranted about this enough and won't do it again now.
Anyway, no matter how high I hike them up or how much of a self-inflicted wedgie I walk around with, I still have plumber's butt.
Don't judge me. It's the jeans. I swear.