ThankFall... get it? Like being thankful in the fall?

My beautiful friend Mama Milton has been posting things that she is thankful for this month. Because she's beautiful on the inside too. So in a desperate attempt to conjure up some content and continue my 10-day NaBloMoFo streak, I'm stealing her idea.

Our little condo on the river is surrounded by trees that are stunning in their fall leaves.

Beautiful fall leaves which create a huge mess. This photo is one day AFTER a crew came through for landscaping and picked up every. single. leaf.

One of my favorite things about our little condo on the river? The use of the word "crew" when referencing anything maintenance or yardwork related, wherein I am not part of said crew.

So every day, like magic, this...

... is transformed into this...

... with zero effort on my part.

Thankful for our home.

And my iPhone camera.

From the mouths of babes

Children can be unknowingly insightful, especially when they are trying their best to be sassy.

Case in point: Carlie was attempting to work herself into a frenzy over something inconsequential the other day. I can't remember what it is. Oh, wait. Yes, I can. It was 22 degrees outside and she was going to school barelegged in a skort (school uniform) with no-show socks. No tights. No knee socks. And a sweatshirt. No coat.

We went back and forth in the universal and age-old struggle of mother vs. daughter until father (Tim) intervened with an oh so paternal and therapist-y "Let her freeze! Let's go!"

Having won that round, Carlie then decided that the taste of Sucrets, which she begged for the night before for her sore throat and which I had braved the arctic blast to procure for her, was a foul and heinous attempt on my part to poison her. And also that I had (a) bought the *wrong ones* (b) bought the gross ones, not the good ones and (c) done it all on purpose. She wanted to spit it out. I demanded she continue to suck. She wanted to spit it out. I demanded she continue to suck. You can see that this is going really well and also? That I am an excellent parent in the early morning hours before school.

In my best patient mommy voice, I said, "Welcome to adulthood. Medicine is nasty. It's not candy. Get used to it. This is what it's like being a grownup. Everything is not coated in sugar and it sucks." Because I am full of the wisdom like that.

And her response was, "At least when you're a grownup you get to make your own choices."

Which left me kind of stumped. Because I'm a grownup. And I guess, *technically*, I get to make my own choices, yet I am quite unhappy with my lot in life right now. What good are choices? I *choose* to sell my house and move, yet no one buys it. I *choose* to pretend it's not Christmas, yet society barrels onward and I'm swept up in the mayhem. So choices schmoices.

But I guess it is up to me to turn that technicality into a reality and choose to make the best of the entire fucked up situation. Which is what I am choosing to do. Right now. At 5 a.m., in the midst of another round of the insomnia game. I've been all about the negativity lately -- the perfect storm of holiday blues, unsold house and crappy work issues. But today, at 5 a.m., I am choosing to embrace the good stuff. At least for one day.

My children are healthy. My marriage is happy. Tim and I are both gainfully employed. We have a warm roof over our heads and food in the pantry.

Enough said.

Crazy Love - tuesdays unwrapped

Sometimes? I get crazy. Like real crazy. Like this shit ain't funny take your meds crazy. More times than not, my crazy strikes in November or December. Then again, I've been known to go off the deep end in February, March, July and September.

Living with me? Fun!

Tim has learned to simultaneously avoid/manage/support/deal with/comfort through my craziness. And sometimes I forget how lucky I am for that gift -- the gift of having a partner that doesn't bail at the first sign of crazy.

What are you thankful for on this fine Tuesday?

When good things happen to so-so people

After my cautionary tale of do-goodery gone awry, I thought I'd toss out two good things that happened this week. To me. Even though my do-good level is only so-so.

Home from New Orleans Tuesday. Back to real life Wednesday. Back to real life included work for me and school for Carlie. But Carlie? Had a tummy ache and couldn't go to school. We discovered this in the hallway of said school at drop off time when she refused to go into her classroom.

As I am exiting the school WITH A CHILD, everyone is exiting the school WITHOUT CHILDREN, because, um, it's drop off time. (ASIDE: we have no buses. Every kid gets dropped off by a parent. And most parents park and walk the kids in as opposed to using the drop off lane.) I was obviously dressed for work (as opposed to in pajama pants or sweats, which would be my not going to work drop off attire). Where was I going with this? Oh. Two separate friends, who were leaving the school KID FREE for the day, offered to take my THREATENING TO VOMIT RIGHT NOW kid home with them so I could go to work. How nice is that? Seriously? I can barely handle my own THREATENING TO VOMIT child, much less a friend's sick child. Which makes both of those moms much better and kinder human beings than I, and I am thankful that I have friends like that.

Second nice thing that happened this week. After working Wednesday and Thursday, and not unpacking yet, and delivering girl scout cookies and not buying any groceries, we were effectively OUT OF EDIBLE FOOD in this house. Thursday 5:30 p.m. I am lamenting my foodlessness via text to a friend, along the lines of "argh! nothing for dinner! shit! do not want to go to store-am in pajama pants. shit!" And that friend? Came over and dropped off enchiladas for us for dinner. Just because she is swell like that and could see that I was in dinner-distress. Plus probably because she didn't want my child to starve, because she is also a good mother.

So even though there are wife-beating freaks amongst us, there are some groovy cool people out there too. And I am so lucky that so many of them are my friends.

PS: Thanks again, Kathy, for the enchies!

PPS: Um, no, I have not yet gone to the grocery store, but I am halfway unpacked.

Grace

Day 17 of 365 Days of Grace.

I am grateful for:

1. Red wine

2. Cream puffs

3. Abba songs and girlfriends who know all the words

4. Separate his/hers bank accounts

5. Shiny things

Oh crap, this wasn't supposed to go here, was it? Oh well, I'll do it right next time.

PS: Can I be Meryl Streep when I grow up?

Grace/365 Days

I'm setting up a separate page for these posts, because I am feeling a little too narcissistic with the self portraits every single day. Yet strangely, not narcissistic enough to stop taking them or posting them. Ha. Go figure.

The new site is here, and I'm going to eventually figure out how to make a button for it to keep in the side bar, eventually being at a time other than right now when I am not (1) starving (2) congested (3) feeling like shit and (4) going through withdrawals from lack of diet coke in the house.

Grace/365 Days

A quick self portrait of me coming home from un-work today. I had a job this afternoon, which means arranging childcare, packing up my gazillion pounds of gear and putting on pants and makeup. When I got to the prosecutor's office I was informed that the deposition had been cancelled. But it didn't occur to anyone to call me. This is my life of freelance court reporting. I get a little secret jolt of happy when I find out I have a free afternoon, immediately followed by a big crashing wave of SHOW ME THE MONEY. It sucks. And because my participation in the 365 days of self portraits is supposed to be an exercise in self love, I won't even mention the horrid state of my effing eyebrows, which is so clearly illustrated in this unnecessary closeup.

Day 15 of 365 Days of Grace

1. Carpooling

2. Pink CD

3. Tall black boots

4. Tweed coat with a hood

5. Running on the treadmill without having my leg fall off

Grace/365 Days

Day 14 of 365 Days of Grace

I am grateful for:

1. Knitting

2. Doc Marten's Maryjanes

3. Baked potatoes

4. Fourth grader with no homework AND no afterschool activities today

5. Big ass scissors : )

No self portrait with this post. You've seen enough of me today, given the big scissors photo shoot.

Grace/365 Days

Hellacious day at work + shooting pain in right shin + 4th grader with holy shit amount of homework and basketball practice in an hour = CHEEZ-ITs for dinner. But because I am a good mom? They are reduced fat cheez-its. So actually, kind of like health food. Plus? Note the Target brand gummy vitamins. Nutrious! Well Balanced!

Day 13 of 365 Days of Grace

I am thankful for:

1. All day jobs that end early

2. Sunshine

3. Packaged prepared frozen food

4. Microwave ovens

5. The knowledge that someday my son will move out of this house. Someday. Please, God.

Grace/365 Days

I was all geared up for a 3-mile run after dropping Carlie off at school, but Carlie never got dropped off at school. After it was determined that she was not going to die, I went for a 1.5 mile run. And I was all "ow ow ow my legs". WTF?

Day 12 of 365 Days of Grace.

I am grateful for:

1. Son cooking dinner tonight

2. Daughter not sick with disgusting vomity bug

3. The return of "24" (I know, I am lame, so sue me)

4. A cozy sweater on a gray day

5. Beautiful yarns to knit

Grace/365 Days

This is a very boring web cam photo of me right now at my dining room table on my laptop. The photo behind me is a vintage shot of downtown Vancouver, my neighborhood, circa 1920s. We just went on a walk to sell Girl Scout cookies and while I stood on the corner waiting for Carlie I noticed an imprint stamped in the concrete reading Kampe & Co 1919. Our house is estimated to have been started in 1919 and finished in 1921. I love this neighborhood.

Day 11 of 365 days of grace.

I am thankful for:

1. The fact that one of my cats is not a moron

2. My neighborhood

3. Old ladies at church who think I am oh so young

4. Doritos, though I still mourn the demise of Taco flavored

5. Pumpkin spice candles

Grace/365 Days

I'm going to cheat a little bit here. I didn't post yesterday. But I did take a photo. But it's still in my camera. So here is my Saturday post, sans picture, which is in my camera. Because the goal was to TAKE  picture every day, not actually post it. Right? No, I know. That's a stretch.

Day 10 of 365 days of grace.

I am grateful for:

1. My heated mattress pad

2. My Blackberry aka Crackberry aka oh-my-God-can't-live-without-it phone

3. My swank new Puma pullover

4. Cardigan sweaters

5. Running seven miles without dropping dead

Grace/365 Days

Little Miss Muffett... yes, that is a giant spider descending upon my head.

These red lights have hung in my dining room window seat since February 2006, when my friends and kids decorated the house for my big 40th birthday party, which was a dance off fiesta bash complete with a BAND in my LIVING ROOM and oysters. Lots of oysters. And shot drinks. Lots of shot drinks. It was the bomb diggity of parties, but I digress. The lights? They're still up. They provide excellent mood lighting for the dining room. Oh, and I just remembered that my camera has a timer, which adds a whole new element to the self portrait. You're welcome. Oh, and the window seat is where we display Carlie's object d'art d'jour. Sometimes d'jour becomes forever, hence the spider from Halloween still hanging there well after Christmas.

Day 9... I am grateful for:

1. Happy Hour

2. Red lights, not for Christmas but just because

3. Friends to laugh with

4. Mac & Jack Amber Ale

5. Banana Toffee Tort

Grace/365 Days

Yo, kick it

Day 8 of 365 days of grace

1. Chuck Taylor All Star Converse

2. French Fries

3. New Friends

4. Living La Vida Loca in Small Town, USA

5. The Beastie Boys

Grace/365 Days

Uh-huh

I am grateful for:

1. Being from New Orleans, a place that I love

2. Finding great airfare to make a spur of the moment trip to Mardi Gras

3. Shiny things

4. Jeans that fit

5. Delicious homemade stir fry for dinner, neither stirred nor fried by me

Grace/365 Days

Roots? What roots?

Day 6 of 365

I am grateful for:

1. My neighborhood, which kicks ass

2. Crepes, which kick ass

3. The time/resources to volunteer at my daughter's school and

4. The fact that 90% of the parents at the school are not freaks

5. Wine

Grace/365 Days

Day 5 of 365 Days of Grace

1. My giant antique map of Portland, OR

2. Hot eats and cool treats

3. Knowing when and how to say NO

4. Even numbers

5. Home-cooked dinner, not cooked by me

Grace/365 Days

Day 4 of 365

Happy feet, knit by happy hands

I am grateful for:

1. Cozy hand-knit socks

2. End of winter break tomorrow...holla

3. The way my children keep me entertained, usually without even knowing it

4. Trader Joe's Candy Cane Joe Joe's

5. That sweet nectar of the Gods known as Diet Coke with Lime

P.S.

To those of you who have contacted me privately to express your concern over my morbid obsession with my own death, you can relax. I have found a healthy outlet for my need to control my family from The Great Beyond when my time comes.

Instead of worrying about what they will wear, I decided to focus on what I will wear. Hence the search for the PERFECT URN has now begun. I need something amendable to Bedazzling. As soon as I find the perfect urn, my glue gun and I are going to go to town and bling that mutha out. Think of the relief this will be to my family when the time comes, not to have to worry about what to do with my remains. It's a win win!

And also, while having my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I neglected to do my post for Day 3 of 365 of Grace. Also did not do my 365 Days self portrait. Oh well. Can't turn back the clock, but I can tell you that I am grateful for:

1. It wasn't me that dinged my neighbor's truck.

2. Good friends, old and new, in my life.

3. Roads are not icy anymore.

4. Healthy children.

5. Healthy self.

Grace/365 Days

Bling

Day 2 of 365

1. I can run.

2. Leftover split pea soup.

3. Sunshine... in January no less!

4. Gym membership.

5. 10-year-old daughter who is not sick, even though several of her friends are now down with some kind of bug.