Freebie

A question that has been on my mind... what is the coolest free thing that you've ever gotten? Not free, like a prize that you won and is supposed to be cool, but random crap that you came across and found useful.

A couple of weeks ago, I ducked into a posh Indian restaurant in downtown Portland for a quick lunch during a depo. The service was sooooo slow that I had to have them pack my lunch to go and go back to work without eating. If you know how I feel about my meals, you'll understand the gravity of going back to work without lunch. Devastation.

But they packed my food in this bpa-free bento container. And since bringing this home, it's like the most sought after item in the kitchen. I was using it during dinnertime cleanup to pack leftovers for Tim to take to work the next day, but now that school has started, Carlie is using it every morning to pack her school lunch.

A close second place would be the plastic drawstring bag that I got at a running expo in June from Brooks shoes. Perfect size, heavy duty, well made, can wear it like a backpack, one of those bags. Love. It.

So share... what random piece have crap have you lucked into?

People of Earth, How Are You

I've been away from my blog for so long, I had to create a new password to get in. This is in no way related to my constant state of estrogen deprivation induced brain fog.

Last weekend I ran a half marathon. As a follow up to that spectacular feat of athletic prowess, I ate everything not nailed down for the next 48 hours. so yesterday I decided to replenish my stash of healthy snacks and get back on the good diet band wagon.

In unrelated news, today was carlie's first day of **summer** vacation, wherein **summer** = 66 degrees and overcast. For the first half of the day she was all "Woo hoo! Summer vacation!" By 3 pm she was texting me at work because she was bored and this house is boring and we only get the boring channels and there's nothing to eat for lunch except for boredom.

When I got home from work my healthy snacks of raspberries and brazil nuts had been molested.

Brazil nuts dipped in chocolate coating. Raspberries stuffed with white chocolate chips. Powdered sugar on everything.

If school doesn't restart soon, I will be rolling through my next marathon rather than running.

The Hangover - A Movie Review

Last night I watched The Hangover with girlfriends. And served them my Savory Chicken Biscuits, which I was trying out for my other blog. The biscuits? were yummy. The Hangover? was funny. After the girls left, I watched it again with Tim. If you're interested in my review of the hangover, scroll down. There are no spoilers, I swear.

The Hangover is a movie about a hot guy named Bradley Cooper. He is kind of a rascally fellow, but has a heart of gold. Bradley Cooper goes to this thing with some other guys who are not Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper sleeps with his shirt off. Bradley Cooper smiles with a twinkle in his eyes. The adventure goes awry and Bradley Cooper is funny, sensitive, caring, and cunning. And then Bradley Cooper saves the day and there is a wedding and Bradley Cooper wears a tuxedo. Oh, and then Bradley Cooper cradles his sleeping child in an extremely endearing way.

The end.

DISCLAIMER: This review was not paid for or endorsed by Bradley Cooper or the producers of The Hangover. However, if Bradley Cooper would like to discuss some type of compensation for my efforts... come to momma.

WTF Wedding Cakes

Of course, one cannot scour Google for cake stands and not become obsessed with cakes. And since I am also obsessed by the impending nuptials of a certain bride to be, and because I am somewhat deranged, I spent a little (hour) time looking at wedding cakes. And seriously? People are whacked.

This one? I actually kind of love. A lot.

If you are having a Dr. Seuss themed wedding, what more could you ask for

The captions, not done by me, say it all

Nothing says classy like a good ass grab

Because every bride wants to be compared to a pig on her wedding day

Kind of fun

Kind of gothy

WTF?

Sad commentary. Because this? Would totally be me. Except texting.

Um, okay.

Keeping it fair. One dead bride for every dead groom.

Lots of brides dragging grooms, but no vice versa. hmmmm...

For fans of "Lost" maybe?

Dirty Dancing. You know, if you want to have a Patrick Swayze tribute at your wedding.

UPDATE: After posting this, I found this site of crazy wedding cake toppers. I need to put down the computer now. Before I start planning a vow renewal just so I can top a cake with king kong holding a bride.

UPDATE 2: Custom bobblehead cake toppers, ya'll. Seriously. Not having had one of these, I am not sure that my marriage is even legal.

Obsessed much?

It started with a cupcake. A really tasty cupcake.

Hey, I can make cupcakes! They're cute, novel, and Carlie can help decorate without me so much wanting to hurt her. You mess one up, you've got, like, 20 more to work with. Win Win!

Here's the part where I point out that I don't really *make* things that require baking. And also? Anything I have ever decorated looks like it was made by kids. At the blind school. But I digress.

I'm going to make cupcakes as my new signature "what's Shana bringing to the party" dish. But instead of looking for idiot-proof yet tasty cupcake recipes, I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED with cake stands. I know. Right? But seriously, is presentation not half the package when you're bringing food to a party?

So today Carlie and I will be hitting the thrift stores and garage sales -- again -- last weekend it was for baby doll heads. Today we're in search of cool vintage plates for the top part where the cupcakes sit , and then bowls, wine glasses and candle holders for the bases. Because we're going to make cake stands. Yes. Multiple cake stands. Because here's the best part of the plan... when I bring the cupcakes to the party, the cake stand is a gift! GENIUS.

What work? What backlog? What transcripts? What dirty house that's hosting an open house this weekend? Shut up. Oooooooh... cupcakes at the open house! That would get this sucker sold, surely.

Plastic plate and cup from Dollar Tree

Random plates on those cheap vases flowers are delivered in

Multi layers

Vintagey

Plain plates on plain vases with, um, stuff stuck in them

Using a bowl for the base

Not just for cakes or cupcakes!

Looks like an ice cream soda glass for a stand

Cool plate with candle holder base

Simple plate on upside down margarita glass

brie for dinner

This has nothing to do with why I am fat. I had a salad for lunch and ran 4+ miles. Plus? It's DAIRY for fucksake. It's practically HEALTH FOOD.

Slippery Slope

My weight is creeping up. Slowly. And yet? I just ate six peanut butter filled Hershey's kisses. Which, by the way, if you have not had them, are divine.

I'm feeling very apethetic about dieting. Because I'm running. Make that running! A lot! Four days a week, including one long run every Sunday morning (6 miles yesterday, 7 miles next Sunday). And all of this running makes me feel very entitled... entitled to eat whatever the hell I want to eat. And let's not even discuss this weekend's alcohol intake. Yes, it was a festive weekend. But still. Apparently I lack whatever component of our DNA controls moderation. Moderation. I don't even like the way the word sounds. It's a creepy word.

So there. It's out there. I am gaining weight. I need to get it in check. So now I am proclaiming myself accountable to the Internet. Gah.

Look at me, cooking again!

For the last few weeks we've started a kind of tradition of having a Friday night lenten dinner with friends. For the last two Friday's my friend Lisa made a delicious veggie strata and a roasted veggie pasta. So this week? My turn! And I decided to try my hand at homemade chili... 13-bean vegetarian chili. All together now, ready? YUM.

I didn't photograph my steps along the way, but I did get one of the finished product. 

Step one: I used a bag of 13-bean mix... I soaked the beans overnight. Then I cooked the beans in the crockpot from about 7:30 this morning until noon. They were nice and soft. I drained the liquid and put the beans back in the crockpot.

Step two: I started with one GIANT ASS yellow onion, chopped. Brown that in a skillet, and add chopped garlic. I used one medium clove of garlic. After those got somewhat soft, I added Morning Star crumbles, I used a bag and a half, which is about 16 oz. Add this to the crockpot.

Next I added two cans of tomato sauce and one can of stewed tomatoes. Then I started with the chili powder. I didn't measure, but I used a lot. Also added cumin and crushed red pepper. No measurements on any of this. Sorry! The chili was too thick and not saucy enough, so I added another can of tomato sauce. And more chili powder. 

After I added the additional sauce, it was too saucy. I know. I know. So next I added a can of pinto beans.

And, voila!, the perfect mixture of sauciness and thickness and fake meatiness and beaniness.

And there you have it, vegetarian 13-bean chili. Yum! 

Shopping

The solution to Carlie's boredom. We went to the mall. Because? Gift cards left over from Christmas and birthday. Carlie's exact request was, "Mom, do you think everyone is finished returning things from Christmas yet," because that's the line I have been feeding her for almost THREE MONTHS. No, honey, we can't go to the mall because of the after Christmas crowds. (Yes, I do realize that some day she will be able to see right through my bullshit stories but not yet, so, yay!)

Anyway. We went to the mall. She had a gift card for Claire's, one for Sweet Factory and a generic "mall gift card" for any store.

There is a point to this. Thank you for hanging with me this long.

The Sweet Factory. Do you have one of these at your mall? If not, it's a candy store. Just candy. Lots of candy. Sweet candy, sour candy, gummy candy, crunchy candy, chocolate candy. Mix and match candy, candy by the pound.

What kind of deviant mind gives a child a Sweet Factory gift card for her 10th birthday?

Actually, I think it is kind of genius and I'm jealous that I didn't think of it myself. But I am totally claiming this as my own move and guess what the nieces and nephews will be getting for their birthdays henceforth? Candy! Candy, Candy and More Candy!

Do you have a "signature gift" move? In the past, I did cowboy boots for the nieces and nephews, which has always been a HUGE SUCCESS, but that has gotten kind of difficult size-wise as the kids have gotten older. But now? Candy for everyone. Their parents are going to LOVE me.

Jambalaya

Since I am home alone with Carlie today, who has a little bit of a temp, a headache and a queasy tummy, I decided to cook a real home-cooked meal. Not from the freezer. Crazy, huh?

My dad made jambalaya while I was in New Orleans, and it reminded me that I really like jambalaya! Because apparently I forgot. Or, more likely, I had a bowl of mediocre jambalaya and it turned me off. But his? Was superb. So today I am making jambalaya. From scratch.

The meat: a 13-oz package of aundouille sausage, 16-oz package of smoked sausage - I sliced the sausage and measured it in a bowl, then measured out an equal measure of leftover roasted turkey, diced.

The veggies: 3 cups each sliced celery, chopped white onion, chopped bell pepper. Eight toes of garlic, diced. One bunch of green onions, chopped.

I started out with a pound of bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon. Fry the bacon until crispy in the bottom of a large stock pot or dutch oven. I used my largest Le Cruset french oven. Remove the bacon and set it out to blot, leaving the drippings in the pot.

Add the veggies to the bacon grease and sautee until tender. At this point, I poured the veggies into a strainer, gave it a shake, then poured back into the pot, because the act of putting the veggies into the bacon grease was counterintuitive enough, but keeping the bacon grease in the pot the whole time was more than I could bear.

When the veggies are tender, add the chicken and sausage. Stir it up, little darling, stir it up.

Add four cans of stewed tomatoes and six cups of chicken broth. Stir it up some more. Add seasoning -- I did not measure but in order of most to least quantity added: thyme, crushed red pepper, paprika, basil, oregeno. You could use a "cajun seasoning" premixed type thing if you have it. I was out of cayenne pepper, so I added a few dashes of liquid cayenne pepper/hot sauce. The powdered cayenne would have been preferable. 

Bring to a boil. Add six cups of rice. Bring to a boil again. Cover and simmer.

At this point, I should have a big pot of delicious jambalaya. But instead? My rice is not quite cooked. CRAP.

I added four more cups of chicken broth and brought to a boil again, covered and simmered. And this time? I DID end up with a big pot of delicious jambalaya, albeit a little bit mushier than I would prefer.

Now, add the bacon from earlier, crumbled and chopped, and 1 lb of cooked shrimp. Mix it in and.... we're done!

The jambalaya was so delicious that we dug in and ate without getting a photo of the finished product, so this is a hijacked photo from Google Images. Mine was equally as lovely, though, take my word for it!

Celebrate good times... come on

Honestly, have you ever seen a cuter musical trio?

We have had a whirlwind weekend of celebration and laughter and FOOD, which included no laundry, no proofreading and FOOD. It is going to be really hard to get back into the groove of reality tomorrow morning, especially since it'll be pitch black when the alarm goes off in the a.m.

Friday night we had dinner with friends. Carlie had a sleepover, so we had a kid free night, which was quite nice, even though we didn't really go out and do much with it. But we enjoyed a great meal with good friends, which is the perfect way to kick off the weekend. I even managed to WORK and WORK OUT on Friday, so again, a good day/night.

Saturday I went with the best brother-in-law ever to see "Wicked." We took the girls, and everyone loved every minute of it. We went to the 2 p.m. matinee, and from there it was RUSH HOME for a 6 p.m. 50th birthday party for the husband of a great friend. It was an awesome party, with delicious FOOD, fabulous company and just a joyful celebration of being alive.

Sunday morning we bid farewell to the best brother-in-law ever as he headed back to Bend, left the girls camped out with laptops and junk food and Tim and I went on a scouting mission. We're considering selling out house and moving to something (1) smaller and (2) closer to his office (which is about 30 miles from home right now, which is a bitch of a commute). The scouting mission was not successful, because as it turns out? I kind of have expensive taste. Of course, the scouting mission did have the oppose effect in that I am now longing for a beautiful house on the Clackamas or Sandy River, preferably with some acreage, which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of downsizing and saving money and blah blah blah. Also? Every time I think about the economy and our finances and the 50% loss of income that will be hitting us in June, I loathe and detest GWB even more. But let's not go there now, as I am recapping my beautiful weekend of fun.

After our scouting mission, we came home, grabbed the girls, and headed over to Portland for yet another feast/birthday celebration, this time for another brother-in-law, and this time complete with a Happy Birthday musical performance by the most adorable trio of all time, including two violins and one bongo player.

Now I'm tucked into bed at 8:30 p.m., ready to get caught up on Lost and 24. If I can see the television through the mounds of laundry. And tomorrow it's back to reality, which will include getting on the scale to assess the massive damage done this weekend.

Haves and Have Nots

Tim and I went grocery shopping at Trader Joe's Saturday. Unfortunately, we did not bring with us either a list or a responsible adult. As a result, we still do not have: bread, eggs, milk, sugar, cold-cuts and other sack lunch type foods for Carlie (who brown bags it every day because her school has no cafeteria).

However, while foraging for breakfast foods this morning, I discovered that we do have: two tubs of creamy goat cheese, four bags of croutons, six opened and partially used boxes of hot cocoa mix,  eight opened and partially used salad dressings and two unopened bags of craisins.

And while not nearly as exciting as finding this in your fridge, I do have three tubs of not-butter, two completely empty and one half-full. The completely empty ones? Still in the fridge. Why? Because I do not live alone is why.

What's on your shopping list this week?

PS: We are now officially OUT OF TOILET PAPER. Shit. No pun intended.

TAX MAN UPDATE: We did pay quarterly taxes, but apparently not enough. Also being brought to my attention, I made 10k less in 2008 than I did in 2007. The fact that I was the primary caregiver for an infant might be a contributing factor.

ALSO: I contemplate divorcing every time we do taxes. And when budgeting for Christmas shopping. Twice a year near divorce moments, that's not so bad overall, is it?

The Tax Man... wonder if he accepts cookies as payment?

We're not quite finished with our taxes yet, and so far we owe $11k. Anyone know where I can sign up for a bail out?

UPDATE: My goal for the day was met. Not a single GS cookie crossed my lips. Take that, Girl Scouts.

ALSO: Ran three miles today, which has to do something to offset the box of Tagalongs that I ate in its entirety this weekend.

Goal for the Day

On my honor, I shall try not to eat a single Girl Scout cookie today.

Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Do you have a goal for the day?

I have seen the true face of evil, and it was cloaked in peanut butter and chocolate deliciousness.

Not much doing around here

I prepared a delicious fajita feast. At 3 p.m. And now? I am starving. It's 8:30 p.m. Not sure what to do about that. Kind of late to eat, but kind of starving to not. Also? Gained 7 lbs while in New Orleans and no sign of it just magically going away now that I am home. Shit. And while we're sharing here, my interest in running has completely disappeared, which is not going to help with that whole 7 lb issue. Last diet related topic for the night: if I never see another Girl Scout cookie again, I'll be happy. Seriously. Tagalongs? The Devil's work.

I've started reading the Charlaine Harris Sookie Stackhouse books, the series that "True Blood" is based on. The books are pretty funny, filled with quirky southern characters and silly fun. I've read the first two so far. I think there are nine total? I've made a promise to myself that I will not get the third book until I am caught up on work. We'll see how that goes, because myself knows that my promises are kind of not worth anything.

I'm enjoying my Tivo'ed episodes of Lost, Heroes and 24. I have saved Dollhouse but haven't watched it yet. I've heard it was good, then heard it was eh-eh. Can't wait for Dancing with the Stars to start. I know how lame this makes me, but I shall wear my ballroom gilded lameness proudly.

I have no outside jobs scheduled this week, but lots of work-from-home jobs that need to get done. Also, Congress is back in session next week, so the opportunity to pick up extra work is there and I need to do it. I received ONE PAYCHECK for a total of $163 for the month of February. I have A LOT of outstanding invoices and people are not paying, which is total bullshit. Sometimes I really hate being self employed. Freelance? Sucks.

I have finally loaded all 400 +/- pictures from New Orleans onto Flickr. After doing so, I realized that I probably should have weeded them out a bit, because some are total crap. And repetitive. Oh well. And Flickr? Took FOREVER to get these things uploaded. Sheesh. I thought I had broken Flickr for a while there, but now it seems to be okay. Click here if you'd like to see all gazillion of the pictures. Please feel free to skim over the day I spent in my dad's warehouse photographing his treasures for some never-happening ebay sale.

We had a very quiet weekend. Just the way I like it. Sometimes. But too many of these in a row and I'll be whining about how boring we are. There is no pleasing me. I realize this.

When good things happen to so-so people

After my cautionary tale of do-goodery gone awry, I thought I'd toss out two good things that happened this week. To me. Even though my do-good level is only so-so.

Home from New Orleans Tuesday. Back to real life Wednesday. Back to real life included work for me and school for Carlie. But Carlie? Had a tummy ache and couldn't go to school. We discovered this in the hallway of said school at drop off time when she refused to go into her classroom.

As I am exiting the school WITH A CHILD, everyone is exiting the school WITHOUT CHILDREN, because, um, it's drop off time. (ASIDE: we have no buses. Every kid gets dropped off by a parent. And most parents park and walk the kids in as opposed to using the drop off lane.) I was obviously dressed for work (as opposed to in pajama pants or sweats, which would be my not going to work drop off attire). Where was I going with this? Oh. Two separate friends, who were leaving the school KID FREE for the day, offered to take my THREATENING TO VOMIT RIGHT NOW kid home with them so I could go to work. How nice is that? Seriously? I can barely handle my own THREATENING TO VOMIT child, much less a friend's sick child. Which makes both of those moms much better and kinder human beings than I, and I am thankful that I have friends like that.

Second nice thing that happened this week. After working Wednesday and Thursday, and not unpacking yet, and delivering girl scout cookies and not buying any groceries, we were effectively OUT OF EDIBLE FOOD in this house. Thursday 5:30 p.m. I am lamenting my foodlessness via text to a friend, along the lines of "argh! nothing for dinner! shit! do not want to go to store-am in pajama pants. shit!" And that friend? Came over and dropped off enchiladas for us for dinner. Just because she is swell like that and could see that I was in dinner-distress. Plus probably because she didn't want my child to starve, because she is also a good mother.

So even though there are wife-beating freaks amongst us, there are some groovy cool people out there too. And I am so lucky that so many of them are my friends.

PS: Thanks again, Kathy, for the enchies!

PPS: Um, no, I have not yet gone to the grocery store, but I am halfway unpacked.

Day 2 Photo Highlights, in reverse order for whatever reason

The gang, all jacked up on crawfish, prepping for the 200 mile walk back to the ferry.

Feast No. 3 of the day... super spicy boiled crawfish. And beer. A table of tourists next to us was overheard whispering "Look at how they make those babies eat those crawfish."

In case you were wondering what the NOLA open container law is, it's okay to walk around with PLASTIC containers, just no metal or glass. Good to know.

Because? People do get thirsty. Sheesh.

Frozen daquiris. Sludgy deliciousness with a straw. Flavor of choice? White Russian, but that's just me.

Our first stop after the ferry ride, The aquarium. This was in the rain forest.

Mommy, why does that big lady have a beard?

THE PLAN: Take the Algiers ferry to Canal Street, walk the couple of short blocks to the Aquarium of the Americas, look at cool underwater shit with the kids, eat dinner and take the ferry home. Avoid the French Quarter. Because? Kids. And Mardi Gras.

THE REALITY: Aquarium was fun for, like, half an hour, and then the mommas were thirsty. Walked around Jackson Square but not quite into the gnarley part of the French Quarter and had a couple of beers and mushrooms stuffed with crab. Decided the French Quarter did not sound like such a bad idea after all, and trucked down Bourbon Street with kids in tow. Picked up frozen daquiris along the way. Then stopped at another spot for more beers and boiled crawfish.

That's when we get the phone call from my sister in law, that my dad is "just going to sleep in his car" until we get home, because we have locked him out of the house. While he was at chemo. Rather than leave him in the car, my brother went to dad's house, brought a ladder with him, and after cutting through one of the window screens he managed to get dad in the house.

Meanwhile, as we are enjoying beer and boiled crawfish, a very large tranny with pink hair comes out of the restaurant kitchen and into the dining room. Mr. Lady was carrying a large tray of fried seafood and wearing an elbow length yellow rubber glove on one hand and a surgical glove on the other. I assumed he/she was a dishwasher with the yellow glove, but why just one? Anyway he/she proceeded to scarf down the platter of fried food, with the gloves on.

After the dinner entertainment, we had to walk back to the ferry, which by this time was really, really far away. Uneventful ferry ride with a really spooky looking guy, DUI-less drive home, and now I am going to bed.

Oh, we get home and dad wants to watch a movie. So we watched The Changeling. THANK GOD Carlie fell asleep almost immediately into the movie. More later on my dad's reasoning behind why it is OK for kids to watch rated R movies as long as they are not porn.

king cake

Happy birthday to me, yo!

More Movie Madness

Since I've seen every other movie in the last three days, I decided to go for four and Tim, Carlie and I saw Coraline. Carlie thought it was scary, but she also thinks that the way the cats look at her lately is scary. So she's not much of a good judge of scare factor these days. I thought it was expensive. After paying $31.50 for two adults and one child MATINEE, I couldn't wrap my head around anything else.

Today was supposed to be my nine mile run. But it was rainy this morning. And weather.com said it would rain all day long. And weather.com? Pants on fire. Because it is gorgeous and sunshiney and perfect for a long run, but I am full of movies and ice cream and a mushroom/asparagus fritata and so my run will commence tomorrow. Which sucks. But whatever. Hopefully the weather will be good. I have mapped out a 5.5 mile route to the Water Resource Center, and then a straight run home of four miles, which gives me half a mile for a cool down walk.

Now, about that fritata. Holy hell. It was good. Asparagus, mushroom, sliced red pepper, colby jack cheese and feta cheese. We went to Newport Bay, which is blah, but we had a gift card that needed using. That was before the movie. After the movie, we went to Coldstone with a two for one coupon. So besides the overspend at Cinetopia, we were on discount bargain mode all day long.

And just FYI. I love Cinetopia. Love it. But charging an extra $2 per ticket because it is 3D is NOT COOL. Especially if you don't post that increased price on your website. In fact, more than not cool, it's actually bullshit and had I not had a husband and kid waiting to go into a movie that started RIGHT NOW I would have raised the issue. Oh, well. Next time.

I'm so looking forward to having a no work/no school day tomorrow. Tim has to work all day, so Carlie and I are just going to chill and do laundry in preparation for packing for the big trip on Wednesday.

Happy long weekend : )