Christmas Wish List Top Ten Count Down... 3-2-1

I'll just cut to the chase with this here Top 10 Christmas wish list and get right to the point...

3. iPad

2. iPad

1. iPad

Oh, wait. Never mind. I've already got one. Yes-huh. Merry Christmas to me, dementia and all.

I love my iPad so bad, I don't even need to take it out of the box. I've just been snuggling with it all afternoon. Also? I am pretty sure this is the end of any and all productivity for the next several weeks. Unless by *productivity* you mean *hello, I'm over here on my iPad, bi-yotch,* in which case I will be, like, productive out the ass.

Christmas Wish List Top Ten Count Down... No. 4

Know what I'd really like for Christmas? I'd like all of my lost brain cells back. The combination of old age, youthful partying, too much sitcom watching and cell phone use has resulted in a serious mental deficiency.

Case in point: I finished all of my Christmas shopping freakishly early this year. And hid the presents. And now? I can't find them. AND THIS IS NOT THE FIRST YEAR THIS HAS HAPPENED.

Merry Dementia!

Christmas Wish List Top Ten Count Down... No. 5

A personal trainer. But not Jillian. I've done The 30 Day Shred*. She's mean. I have never watched The Biggest Loser, but the other not Jillian guy is super hot. I'll take him. Or, you know, someone in real life.

I guess that the auxillary gifts to go along with this gift would include some kind of a gym membership. And also some gym clothes that look good. Dude, there is nothing worse than having to wear Spanx to the gym. Nothing worse**.

__________________

*Not for, like 30 days in a row or anything absurd like that.

**I realize that having to wear Spanx to the gym is a first world problem and that in actuality there are worse things, like starvation, cancer, zombie apocolypse and spider bites. But I'm keeping it real and writing from the perspective of my middle-class quasi-suburban USA existence, where wearing Spanx to the gym is an issue.

Christmas Wish List Top Ten Count Down... No. 7

My next Christmas Wish List request is less of a "request" and more of a demand, a demand for what was promised to me. Hello, it's 2010, and I am pretty sure that I am supposed to be living in the future by now, complete with robot maids and flying cars.

All I want for Christmas is my Monsanto House of the Future.

Monsanto House of the Future
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Christmas Wish List Top Ten Count Down... No. 8

Next up on my Christmas Wish List for 2010, I want to be the winner of the HGTV Urban Oasis apartment in the W Hotel in Manhattan. Look at this place and tell me that I don't belong there. Because I totally belong there. But, sadly, I did not win. So I guess a better entry for the wish list would be: I want a time machine, plus the ability to rig contests.

Christmas Wish List Top Ten Count Down... No. 9

My Christmas wish list continues. I'm trying keep it practical. I'm always looking for a comfortable bra, and this one is described as "very comfortable and doesn't dig in." Never mind the fact that it's encrusted with $4.5 million worth of diamonds. I'm just looking for a little support, you know what I mean?

Shred this, biyotch

Don't be fooled by her cute little dog. This chick? Is not nice. She tried to kill me. As a result? I have limited use of my arms. And my legs. WTF, Shred?

I went to Walmart today. No photos were taken, that I know of. I had to buy storage bins. So I can pack away our Christmas decorations. Yes, you read that right. CHRISTMAS. Now, you may ask, why do you have to pack away anything when you didn't even decorate your tree this year? Good question! Though the decorations never made it to the tree, they did make it to the mantle and the front porch. And then they made it back down into the basement, overflowing their random and tatty cardboard boxes.

Now that we are feeling pretty confident that we will be moving by summertime, whether the house is sold or not, I figure it's a good time to get that stuff organized and stored in a way that will be move friendly. Plus? Purging through. I am not so good with the purging, but I'm in the mood for it today. Inarguably, I will throw something out that I will want back desperately tomorrow, so I am going to make sure that everything in my OUT pile goes to Goodwill before bedtime tonight.

I have yet to watch a single episode of the final season of Lost, but I have them all on Tivo. So that's the plan... sit in front of the TV and sort thru Christmas crap. As soon as I regain the ability to lift my arms above waist level.

Christmas... before, during and after

THE BEFORE:

Decorations were sparse this year. Because we’re still for sale, and still showing the house (though the last walk through was about 12/21 or so , but another is scheduled for tomorrow!)

The tree was up, but never decorated. How lazy are my children? I put the lights on the tree, and then enthusiastically encouraged the kids to bring the ornaments up from the basement and hang them on the tree. NO TAKERS. Then it became a *thing* with no one wanting to back down and finally decorate the stupid tree. So I stuck a birdhouse in it and called it *natural.* Dysfunctional family, who? PS: Charlie Brown called, wants his tree back.

We did get out all of the nutcrackers and the girls hung their stockings.
And my dad sent the tower of treats, which, frankly, is all anyone really needs for Christmas.

And of course, our traditional ghetto DIY family portrait. Which was turned into a Christmas card, which did not get mailed out. Christmas 2008 de ja vu times a million.

Lots of crafts were made and lots of sewing was done. Final tally was Shana: three aprons, two ponchos and four faux Snuggies. Carlie: seven magnet boards, about 40 glass magnets and approximately 3,487 chocolate covered pretzel rods, of which no photos were taken.

Faux Snuggie directions coming soon, because believe it or not, a couple of people have actually asked for them! .

And not to be forgotten, we had a pre-Christmas weekend sleepover with little cousins and made a gingerbread house

Magnet board, with glass magnets

Poncho for Lana in New Orleans

Poncho for Iris in Texas

Apron for Iris

Of course the holiday season would not be complete without some heartbreak and drama, and we had plenty of that. The week before Christmas, Carlie had to say a very sad goodbye to her dance instructor and partner, Daniel, as he will no longer be teaching at Arthur Murray. She is heartbroken, still, over him leaving. I found her a few days ago sobbing in the middle of her bed with a box of tissues and pictures of Daniel spread out in a semicircle around her. Dramatic who? Luckily she does not understand that I might be a tiny bit mocking her as I sing “The First Cut is the Deepest” to Tim every time the subject of Daniel comes up.

THE DURING:

Christmas Eve, we hosted our annual Open House. I took not a single photo. At the end of the evening, Tim and I sat down and made a list of everyone we could remember seeing through the evening. We came up with 82 people who FOR SURE were here. We may have missed some. Of the 82, 55 were adults and two were toddlers. The rest? Kids. Rowdy, crazy and in one case a Chuck Norris batshit crazy kid. Good times! Ham sammies and two tremendous vats of turkey gumbo got us through the night, and I only had to send Taylor to the grocery store once for more rice. Success! I could kick myself for not getting a picture of the abundance of delicious sweets and treats that people brought over. Today is 12/28 and I am still suffering from a bit of a sweets hangover.

The faux Snuggies were a huge hit. And do not be fooled by Taylor's unpleasant demeanor. He is all about the faux Snuggie. Believe you me.

Christmas morning was quiet and low key. The family received a Wii from Santa, and pretty much everything after that was just a matter of getting presents opened so the kids could go set up the Wii. The *kids* were crazy for the Wii, wherein *kids* = EVERYONE WENT A WII BIT INSANE.

Note: Yes, my 10-year-old is opening presents while wearing a sassy tweed swing jacket. Because? Stylish.

Resident Evil, here we come. GAME ON, zombies! Game on.

The iPod Touch caused a Wii bit of hysteria as well.

The girls played Wii sports for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT. I am not exaggerating. The adults dabbled in the Wii a bit on Christmas day, but it was pretty much Carlie and Erinna ALL DAY LONG. And they didn’t bother opening any of the other Wii games.

THE AFTER:

After all that Wii’ing, the girls could not move their arms on Boxing Day. Which? Was hilarious. They totally zombied out all day long on gameboy and iPod and laptops.

With the girls disabled for the day, Tim and I had our chance at the Wii. And we killed zombies for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT. Again, not exaggerating. There is possibly a Wii bit of a problem in this household right now. Also? Carpal tunnel, who?

We did tear ourselves away from the zombies to attend a fabulous Boxing Day party in the evening, complete with delicious treats and a great round of Pass the Parcel.

We rounded out our zombie-filled Christmas holidays yesterday with a viewing of Shaun of the Dead, the consumption of vast amounts of pad thai and kettle chips and finishing off the homemade boozy eggnog.

Blink once and BAM it’s Carlie’s birthday. Which is in full throttle right now. Which is why I am hiding out in my room on the laptop. But probably shouldn’t be. Birthday coverage later!

Is everyone else all partied out too? I am ready to nap until New Years Day and then start fresh in 2010. But, of course, we have a realtor showing the house tomorrow, which means reality is slapping me in the face TODAY and I’m about to go all chore warrior on this house. After I shoot a few zombies.

UPDATE: It is 7:15 p.m. I am sick of little girls. And I now have to take Carlie to dance x two hours. And? I have not done ANY cleaning of ANY sort around the house. Which is being shown tomorrow. FML.

and it just keeps getting better

Got home from the funeral to find my brother-in-law and two nieces waiting for us. Surprise! Six year old niece commented, wow, Aunt Shana, your floor is really dirty. Thanks : )

Carlie had a choir performance at 6 pm, caroling after 5 pm mass, to make up for a cancelled performance that got the kabosh due to bad weather. Why not just cancel it? Why reschedule? Christmas is over, sorry.

Anyway, she had to be there at 5 pm, so I went to mass from 5-6 pm then stayed for the choir performance, which turned out to be AN HOUR AND A HALF LONG and her group sang TWO SONGS.

Now I am home at 8:06, hitting my computer before Miss Burrows picks me up at 8:15 pm for Happy Hour. At 8:16 I'll be happy. At 8:45, I'll be even happier when I see the beautiful faces of Mama Milton, Bad Mom, Syma Says and Mrs. Forrest.

Oh, and I ALMOST FORGOT the part where a friend came over at 4:30 to drop off clothes for her kid to go to the choir performance with me, and backed out of my driveway and into my neighbor's car. Wouldn't want to forget that on the list of things that happened today. Oy vey.

Flip Video

Carlie's choir sang at the Grotto last night. It was quite lovely and the weather was not total shit, so a good time was had by all. 

I didn't bring my camera, or my video camera, because I am the best mom ever like that. I did have Carlie's Flip Video in my purse, which has no lighting and really limited zoom. So here's a video of Carlie singing, except you can't tell it's Carlie because of the poor lighting and crap zoom capability. She is fourth from the left.

UPDATE: Video should appear here, but apparently I am somewhat technologically retarded because can't get it to upload. Oh well. 

UPDATE, REDUX: Try clicking here if you want to see the video.

That said, who loves her Flip Video Camera more than anything in the entire universe? 

In fact, here's one of many masterpiece videos she has made. 

ANOTHER UPDATE: Again, too spazzy to upload video. But I am uploading them on Facebook, which is idiot-proofed, and will link to the video there when it is done.

UPDATE AGAIN: Click here for the video of Carlie interviewing her cat, Buffy the Mouse Slayer.

The problem with the Flip Video camera is that Carlie wants to make a zillion videos to post on the Internet, all of which showcase exactly what a sty our house is.

awesome

Best christmas gift ever. My dad sent a check... And spelled my name wrong. The name I am pretty sure he had a hand in giving me. He did sign the card this year "Love, Pops." Last year he signed the card "From Jerry Vieau."

If you knew my dad, you would understand why we can laugh at this kind of stuff, which could be considered tragic in other families. Its our own special brand of dysfunction.

My post-holiday tradition

Today is the day that I start finding random gifts that I hid over the course of the year throughout the house, then forgot about, and then did not give to the intended recipient for Christmas, usually after having had a last minute panic attack about lack of gift for said intended recipient and bolting down to Walgreen's to buy something heartfelt and meaningful.

Mystery gift No. 1: just found the gorgeous hand-carved crochet hooks that I bought for my sister in August. Where? in my closet under a pair of sweatpants.

Happy Boxing Day

My favorite Christmas '08 photos.

Our Angel... not always a happy angel (read post below)

Our yard in the snow

The girls built a snowman. It took forever. Seriously.

Our house in the snow. Taken after the first snow had fallen. I didn't get pictures after the "real" snow came down days later and completely obliterated the front steps.

Christmas morning... everyone in a hat I knit for them.

Christmas is over... now what?

I stepped on the scale this morning (fool am I) and have gained four pounds over the course of the last two days. So today's Boxing Day festivities will include a trip to the gym at some point, because the roads are still too snowy and icy to run (for me, anyway).

We had a slippery, slidy, kind of scary drive into Portland yesterday to have dinner with family, but it was worth every scary moment on the freeway because we had a wonderful time. Then we slipped and slid our whole way home as well, with a side trip to drop Erinna off at her mom's house in the opposite direction of escaping the bad roads and into the worst of it that we've been in yet. Tim, ever the good Samaritan, helped a couple that were stuck in the snow while Carlie and I napped in the car. And by napped in the car, I mean I tried to sleep while she asked me questions from Quiz Fest magazine to determine who my "Twilight twin" is.

Oh. Speaking of Carlie. My prediction from Christmas Day, before we went to church, when I jokingly wrote I could just imagine her being the only choir kid to show up in costume? Yeah. That totally happened. She was not a happy angel. And we got there late, so we arrived to the choir kids, all in their black and white choir outfits, on the risers on the alter at church, already singing, and my girl in full on angel-wear, complete with silver wings and halo, joined them, right smack in the middle of the top riser, where people had to scooch over to accommodate her wing span. It was classic.

My camera battery was dead (of course), but luckily I had Carlie's new Flip Video camera in my purse, so I captured it on video. Which Carlie then accidentally deleted while watching it (of course).

I'm soon to be headed off to the running store for new shoes and warm cozy running wear... which are totally essential for me getting into and out of the car to drive to the gym on a cold day, because I am so not running outside in the foreseeable future. 

Happy Christmas, Dear Internet, Happy Christmas to you

Quick post before I go WAKE MY CHILDREN UP for Christmas morning. Seriously. I have been the only one up since 6 a.m. and it's now pushing 8:30. Come on, kids, jeez! I've got things to do.

Christmas day agenda: breakfast with friends at 10 a.m. Church at noon, where Carlie is not only singing, but wearing her angel regalia from the school play. She says the choir director told her to. I did not get this memo. I am envisioning a choir of kids singing at noon in their normal choir outfits of black skirt/pants and white shirt, and Carlie, as an angel. Which would actually be kind of fabulous in a LOOK AT ME kind of way.

Later, dinner at Tim's brother's house, which will be divine because he and his wife are foodies and always put on the best spreads.

Our party was a happening scene. A happening scene of which I took NOT ONE SINGLE PHOTOGRAPH because I was busy being the hostess with the mostess. The nasty weather kept some guests away, so we ended up with 34 guests, plus my tribe of five, for a total of 39 mouths to feed and hollies to jolly. It was a fab time.

I leave you with my most favorite Christmas photograph of all time. Carlie Belle, circa 1999, just prior to celebrating her first birthday.

Yes, those are lumps of coal.

Happy Christmas, Dear Internet. I heart you so.

Christmas Eve Gumbo

This is what 12 gallons of gumbo looks like - 10 gallons turkey gumbo and I just made 2 gallons of vegan gumbo. Because I am a good mom like that.

We have 47 yes rsvps for our open house tonight even though we are in the midst of Arctic Blast 08, as the nonstop news coverage keeps reminding us.

I made a run to two Target stores, Circuit City, Best Buy, Office Depot and Kohls this morning. Did not wait in line once. They were all empty. Recession or fear of driving on the arctic tundra?

After finishing up some last minute cleaning and starting the gift wrapping, I am soaking in the tub with a glass of wine until quarter til party time.

Happy Christmas Eve!

Christmas Eve Party Eve

It's the most stressful day of the year for my family. It's the day we clean and clean and clean before our 50+ guests descend for our Christmas Eve Open House. I try to make it a festive and cheery cleaning extravaganza with music and snacks and even prizes for various cleaning contests, but my children are too sophisticated to fall for that shit and basically just ignore me, do their chores as quickly and half-assedly as possible and get the hell out of my way.

But this year, Mother Nature is on my side! No one can go anywhere to escape Christmas Eve Party Eve because the snow has basically made them all my captives. Ha ha! Snow day that, kids!

I asked a question a while back re: what other people were spending on or buying for their kids, and didn't get a lot of responses. My shopping is finished and here is the final tally. NOTE: feel free to stop reading right now if you could not give a shit what I bought my kids for Christmas. You won't hurt my feelings at all and if you choose to leave now, good bye and Merry Christmas!

Also note, We were keeping things pretty simple and then grandpa sent cash asking us to get gifts for the kids. So that bumped up each kid a notch from "small gifts" to small gifts plus one biggish gift from us and grandpa.

Out of towners: I sent Maggy pajamas ($30), Iris three DVDs that Maggy requested ($40) and a gift certificate to a restaurant for Maggy and the boyfriend ($50). 

For the in-house kids: Taylor has a hat that I have knitted for him, a pair of gloves, pajamas, a gift certificate to a favorite local coffee house and a "credit" from us/grandpa towards the purchase of a new bicycle, which he desperately wants/needs for commuting to school and work, but wants to wait until after Christmas to purchase as he is a frugal lad and knows he'll get a better deal. And when I say credit towards, that's because his idea of a good deal on a bike is $600, and my idea of a Christmas gift is under $200.

For Erinna, I have knitted a hat and purchased an iPod touch, which was a 50/50 gift from us and from grandpa, otherwise she wouldn't be getting it. Also pajamas and a CD that she wanted.

And for Carlie, a combination of gifts from mom and dad and grandpa and Santa: Flip video camera (from grandpa, actually), pajamas and everything on her list, which was a pretty flimsy list so it was easy (a couple of music CDs, a movie DVD, Starbucks gift card, two games for Nintendo DS). I'll be holding back one of the Nintendo games and one of the CDs to save as birthday gifts for her on 12/28.

And for my husband, I knitted him a hat and a pair of socks. Purchased new pajamas. And he's getting a homemade card with the promise of a back scratch every night for a year. A back scratch at the end of the day is, like, the way to get that man to do practically anything. So it's a win win.

I was having a philosophical dilemma today about the "snow days" we're both having from work. Last time we lost time for winter weather was in 2004 when we were hit with a raging ice storm. At the time, we were both gainfully employed by someone other than ourselves and it was like, OH YEAH, BABY, SNOW DAY. Because no work but you still get paid? Who doesn't love that.

But now we're both self-employed. And no work = no pay. Period. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. While we're enjoying the chance to be home during this holiday build up week, we're going to be paying for it monetarily this time next month. And that reality sucks.

But then I go out in the snow, and slide my car to the grocery store to get bread and diet coke, and realize that attempting to get anywhere would be suicidal. Which is why everything is closed and no one is venturing out. So there's really no choice but to relax and let nature take its course and deal with the consequences when we get there. That perspective helped me be able to enjoy the down time tremendously. Someone remind me of it when I am crying broke in January and wondering how I got so broke.

To wind down the day and celebrate the eve of Christmas Eve Party Eve, we had a lovely dinner at La Bottega and booked our New Years Eve reservation for a wine tasting dinner. Now are dropping the kids off at home and going over to the home of friends for poker and cocktails. Tomorrow? Another snow day. My booked jobs have cancelled and Tim cannot get to his office in Gladstone, Oregon. Hopefully we can keep the anxiety and bay and enjoy it.

Weekend Review

We've got snow. If I weren't snuggly warm under the covers, I'd go down and grab my camera and show you the snow. Our precise measuring technique indicates over a foot of snow on the ground in my yard. This was precisely measured by poking a stick that was about a foot long down into the snow until it hit the ground.

Saturday was spent doing a whole bunch of nothing -- other than making fairy houses -- until it was time to party like it's 1999 at a birthday bash for a great friend. Good food, the awesomest friends in the world, the wine was flowing, the house was cozy warm and the child was on a sleepover. What more can you want on a snowy Saturday night?

Sunday morning came early, and my aching head wanted to sleep it off, but that kid on the sleepover? Yeah, she was singing in the choir at mass and had to be met there and brought home. I gave some serious thought to sneaking into the back of the church for the last five minutes of mass and pretending like I had been there the whole time and, wow, you did a great job up there, honey. But my conscience got the best of me, so at 10:40 we decided to warm up the car and make the 10-minute drive to church.

And then we saw the car under, like, four inches of SOLID ICE and it took half an hour to dig it out. Seriously. It was crazy. And the 10-minute drive was a little dicey. But the good news (not so much) is that my husband is from Chicago. He is all about driving in snow and ice. And he loves to show off his mad snow and ice driving skills. Which he did on the drive home from church in an empty parking lot. Carlie and I screamed our heads off until he got back on the road and brought us home. Why do men think doing donuts is fun? I don't get it.

We hunkered down for the snow day and everyone read books, watched movies, ate cookies and was generally cozy. I finished knitting two hats. Carlie and I finished making her Teen Beat crafty gifts for her friends and Tim and I watched a couple of hour of Mad Men.  All was well until CABIN FEVER set in at an alarming rate. The snow was still falling, the roads were covered, and at 5 pm we bundled up and took a walk to Mint Tea for a tasty treat and a break from the house. The poor Mint Tea people were scheduled to have a rocking Grand Opening in their new location yesterday, and pretty much all they got was us. Mint Tea and Walgreens were the only things open on Main Street, and oh how happy we were to have them open!

Trudged home, defrosted and played an epic game of Monopoly that lasted approximately 17 hours. Good times! After Carlie went to bed, we watched yet another episode of Mad Men, which puts us at six episodes watched in a 24-hour period. That could be indicative of a problem.

Now it's Monday, and from the looks outside, it's going to be more of the same. Only problem is: we're almost out of cookies. Crap.

Fairy House Photos

Does anyone know what a boy fairy would be called? Three of these are for girls and three are for boys. And a fairy house for a boy sounds, well, a bit girly. Instead of a flower petal for a dress, the boys are made with a leaf. And we gave them cool mohawk haircuts.

We painted names on the houses. Our family's kids have the greatest names. We made fairy wish houses for Gus, Eliot, Maeve, Shea, Jackson and Lana. Carlie did all of the painting. Well, 80% of the painting. Then she wanted to go on a play date, so I helped her with some of the embellishment. But she did do 100% of the design work.
This one is my favorite fairy. If anyone is interested in fairy making directions, let me know. They are easy, cute and fun for kids to make.
All six houses. I think they look swell (can you tell I've been watching Mad Men?).
Best part? I bought these bird houses at Dollar Tree for, you got it, $1 each. Got to love that.

I posted photos of all of them on Flickr. Hopefully this will link to it. Click here.

Now that the crafty part is done, she is going to write a story about fairies and wish houses. The jist of the project is, you write your wishes on a little piece of paper and put it in the fairy house. How sweet is that?

Bona Fide Snow Day

It's 36 degrees out, the sun is shining bright and we have a real snow day, finally. There is no snow or ice on the roads. Nothing is slick or dangerous or treacherous. Just wet.

I went to the gym and ran 5.25 miles on the treadmill while watching Prison Break, episode 1 of season 1. I've been waiting, um, like, three years? to watch Prison Break. I had forgotten about it, and then read Cheri's Blog and saw a mention and remembered, oh, yeah! So now Wentworth Miller is my running buddy. I'm sure running buddy will evolve into a best friend, then friend with benefits, and then eventually I'll be forced to make some hard choices regarding my marriage, but for now it's strictly platonic. And, frankly, if he can keep me on a good running schedule through the winter, it's a risk I'm willing to take.

I swore I was done with Christmas shopping after my two lame-ass trips to Target, but I need to make one more run. And then that's it. Done. And if you are a kid of mine and you're reading this, if they don't have it at Target, sorry, then Santa doesn't have it either. That's how Santa rolls.

UnSnow Day

While schools to the north, south and east of us declined to open their doors today, our school was in business. I can't say that I blame them. Seriously, there were no dangerous road conditions or weather alerts today. At least not in the little 1.5 mile stretch that I had to drive this morning. But watching the list of closures grow AND grow AND grow, only to have the name of your school NEVER EVER APPEAR? Yeah, more than a nine-year-old can handle.

So we had a rough morning, complete with an itchy skort, a too-short shirt and funky sock problems. I always know we're in trouble when the socks are a problem. Sock problems are a recurring theme that I thought we had outgrown. But I guess not so much.

Project for the day, besides work: buy Carlie a new violin. And by "buy" I mean order online. I checked the ebay store of our favorite violin maker and he had a $80 student quality violin in 1/4 size, which is the size she needs. He also had higher-end $200 violins in the sizes of 4/4, 3/4 and 1/2.

I sent an email asking: Do you have a higher quality violin in size 1/4?

He responded with an ebay listing number, saying check this one out. It was the $200 violin available in 4/4, 3/4 and 1/2 sizes.

I emailed again, saying: The ad doesn't show a 1/4 available. Are you saying I can get this violin in 1/4 size?

To which he responded, no, you can't, it's only available in 4/4, 3/4 and 1/2. And though it was an email saying exactly what I just wrote, I could sense his attitude, like I'm a dumbass who can't read the ad listing.

OK. Now. Go back to my first email and read the question again. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Now I have to find a new violin guy, because I am so annoyed with this one, over something this trivial. But sometimes stupid wears me out. Seriously. Being hit with stupid can exhaust me to the point of needing a nap.

What else? Oh, I started Christmas shopping. That's right, STARTED, on 12/15. That's so not how I roll. Really, I usually have it all done by Thansgiving. THAT'S HOW I ROLL. But this year? WTF? I'm just off my game. Oh, and have been broke and waiting for a paycheck, which finally came, thank God. The glamour of self-employment.

I only had to buy for my own children, which should simplify things to an extent, and it did. But still. Target on 12/15? Not my idea of a good time.

And after I left Target, I get a text from Erinna, age 15, with the one CD that she really wants, the one thing she couldn't think of earlier. And yeah, sorry, not going back to Target until mid-January. Oh, and coincidentally, the one CD that she wants? Not the one I bought. Surprised? I didn't think so.