What the...

I think we all know of my great respect (and lust) for our esteemed (and hot) President. But am I the only one who might find the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Hot after nine months in office a bit premature?

Once again, Bono? Was robbed.

You know how there is funny "haha" and funny "um, okay, whatever, dude"?

So I have some of each.

I went to the gym to run on the treadmill today. Because every now and then, even though the weather is swell, I like to indulge my OCD tendencies and run on the treadmill, where I can micromanage and be acutely aware of all of my running stats, likes miles per hour, distance down to the .01 of a mile, and calories burned.

I work out at Marhsall Community Center (because? $35/month, yo!) and there is a big parking lot on each side of the building. But very limited parking right in the front of the building where, you know, the entrance is. But I? Always get a spot in front. Always. Because I? Have a tiny bit of blogthismom parking mojo, but just a tiny bit.

But today? No spots in front! So I circled the lot. Twice.

And then realized I was circling a parking lot in order to save myself a 1/16 of a mile walk into the building, so I could go inside and run four miles. And that? Cracked me up. Sorry, I guess I am easily amused.

And now on to the funny "um, okay, whatever, dude." My husband? Is unnaturally obsessed with all things Michael Jackson. Every night? He comes home from work and pours over the "news" of any MJ coverage. The whole thing? Is kind of creeping me out. Wherein "kind of" = ewwwwww and get the frick over it.

And lastly, not funny in either sense, but just hot... Did you see President Boyfriend throw out that first pitch? Oooh la la. He? Is delicious. But, yo, baby, what's up with the mom jeans?

Could not find an image that captured the mom jeans. You Tube it.

The Inauguration: it's like I was there, only I was falling on my ass in the gym instead

I cancelled my session with my trainer this morning (doesn't he look pissed?)To spend my workout with this guy instead. Because? Hotness.

I'll be honest. I did unplug my headphones when this guy started talking about his Lord...

...and chose to commune with God in my own way, with Bono. Because Bono? He's got God's ear. Amen.

And it was all good. Jogging and watching history go down right before my freaking eyes. And then President Elect Hot took the podium.

And my heart? It stopped beating. And my feet? They stopped running. And the treadmill? It didn't GIVE A SHIT and kept on going, sending my spastic ass sailing off the fucker (not totally, but close enough).

And I'll be honest again. When this guy took the stage for the benediction? I was about ready to check out of the proceedings and head on home. But I didn't. And man, am I ever glad. Because this old dude? He fricking rocked it. Big time.

I'm not a cryer. I made it through the inauguration without a single tear. Until the final moments. When he blessed the angelic Sasha and Malia. And the camera panned to Momma Michelle, smiling at her girls, the girls with their little heads bowed in prayer. And that, my friends, was all it took. I shed a tear. Or two. Or wept openly for a moment. Whatever.

And now? I'm trying to reconcile how one remains respectful of someone in such a position of high authority as PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, while lusting after his fine ass, because holy hell, that man is smoking hot. It's going to be a fabulous eight years.

An open letter to CNBC

Dear CNBC,

Please note. When Itzhak Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma grace the stage to perform for the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, you should really SHUT THE HELL UP.

Same goes for Elizabeth Alexander reciting her original poem for the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. You're going to talk over her and do a split screen? Really?

What a bunch of rude mo-fos.

Sincerely,

Shana

Because I watched the inauguration at the gym, I had my choice of CNN, CNBC and some other channel. The fourth TV was broadcasting Animal Planet and, I shit you not, everyone else in the gym appeared to be watching Animal Planet. Because when I burst into spontaneous applause and cheering? Yeah, I was the only one.

Anyway, back to the topic here. The CNBC screen was right in front of me, but the jackasses continually TALKED OVER everything that was going on. Thus forcing me to watch the CNN screen, which was to my left, thus causing me to list to the right on my treadmill. Thus adding to the ease with which I was able to get thrown from the treadmill when I stopped in my tracks, mesmerized and spellbound by THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.