
Friday, March 5, 2010
Date Night... or how I took my giant fat stomach on a date

Wednesday, March 3, 2010
TRUE STORY
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Sick Kid Blues

Yesterday was my first day back to work. At my new job. Which I started on Feb. 1, worked five days, and then had three weeks off. How much do you want to hire me right now? (Technically, I worked four days, had two weeks off, then worked one day and had another week off. Does that make me less of a loser?)
Friday, February 26, 2010
Home again, home again, jiggity jig

Thursday, February 25, 2010
Just call me Tipper
So while I may have felt a little niggling of doubt when my daughter was singing, loudly...
"I'm talking about everybody getting crunk (crunk), Boys try to touch my junk (junk), Gotta slap him if he gets too drunk (drunk),"
I didn't freak out. And also? I know all the words too.
But yesterday, when Carlie began using an irritating nasally affect and was beseeching Dr. Dre to...
"Just blow a little bit of that smoke my way," because "We're now smoking with the best (the best),"
????
Um... yeah, no. Eminem? STAB.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
To All The Men I've Loved Before... The Addendum
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
To All The Men I've Loved Before... The Early Years Edition









They say it comes in threes...

1. My gallbladder, et al.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Things that an 11 Year Old CANNOT DO with her arm in a cast

Friday, February 19, 2010
Yeah, I know, 1972 called, wants their braid back

Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Donger Needs Food

Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I'm kind of like an Olympian

Monday, February 15, 2010
Chicken Cabbage Salad with Peanut Sauce

Just because I don't have a gallbladder doesn't mean we can't all enjoy a tasty repurposed rotisserie chicken this week. You're welcome.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Because Tomorrow is Valentine's Day...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Sick and Moody and Blah

If you've read my blog lately, you know I've been ill. Not so much ill as much as OW FUCK MY STOMACH HURTS and then had surgery. And then had another surgery.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
More words of inspiration

Monday, February 8, 2010
It's good to have girlfriends

My friend came over to bring Carlie home after school. Of course, I had to show her my ziplock full of gallstones and my cyborg drain in my gut and my cool bag of bile. Because I am cool like that.
Bye-Bye, Gallbladder
This smiley face image? You can thank me later. I was googling a picture of a gallbladder to show you, but it was all so horrible and disgusting that I went with the smiley face instead. You're welcome.Friday night I had a funky belly ache. By 9 pm, it was really bothering me, so I skipped Carlie's dance party and had Tim take her. When they got home at 11 pm, I was contemplating going to the ER, but talked myself out of it, thinking I had gas or had eaten something that wasn’t agreeing with me.
By 2 a.m. I was ready to go to the ER, but didn’t want to wake up Carlie and drag her along, and didn't want to leave her home alone, so I convinced myself that I could wait until the morning.
At 5 a.m. I had Tim drop me off at small urgent care clinic just a few blocks from our house, and then come back home so Carlie wouldn’t wake up home alone and freaked out.
The doctor at the urgent care clinic (who looked like a cowboy, but that's a story for another day) sent me to the full blown hospital for a gallbladder x-ray. And by 10 a.m. it was decided that I’d be having my gallbladder removed and spending at least one night, if not two, in the hospital.
They took me into surgery Saturday at noon and removed my gallbladder laprascopically (sp) and then did a liver scan. My gallbladder, which I have never had a problem with once in my entire life, was in horrible condition. The liver scan showed gall stones in the duct, so I had to go into recovery, wake up from the anesthesia, and then go to a different type of operating room and go under general anesthesia again. I DO NOT DO WELL WITH ANESTHESIA, just fyi, so this was pretty horrible for me.
Second procedure was done with endoscopy, where they put a camera tool thing down my throat and basically roto-routered the liver duct.
So now I have: zero gallbladder, a ziplock bag filled with about 100 little gallstones (just for kicks) and two DISGUSTING DRAINAGE TUBES coming out of my belly into bags on my right hip. SO GROSS.
I’ve been home for about 20 minutes now. Tim has gone to fill my Rx and then he is going to work. A friend will be bringing Carlie home from school. WHAT A FUCKING ORDEAL THIS HAS BEEN.
No work for a week, no heavy lifting for months, no running for at least 6-8 weeks, soft/liquid food for the foreseeable future and a low fat diet forever.
It bears repeating; WHAT A FUCKING ORDEAL. Never in a million years when I had a stomach ache Friday night did I think I’d be undergoing surgery twice over the weekend. Total insanity. I am so glad to be home now. But honestly, if I had known that I’d have to be emptying these disgusting drains etc. at home, I might have stayed another day in the hospital. SO GROSS.
I have follow up with the surgeon on Wednesday and one drain will be removed. but the bile duct thing filled with disgusting green bile will be with me for…. get ready for this…. A MONTH TO TWO MONTHS. Seriously. A bag of disgusting bile draining from a tube in my stomach, carried around on my hip for up to two months.
ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?







