"Don't splash me," she shrieks as she sits by the pool.
The doors open at 9 a.m. There are children waiting for the doors to open. Eagerly waiting. And though the eagerly waiting children understand the theory of do not run, the reality is OMG, LET ME IN THE WATER PARK NOW, PLEASE, NOW, PLEASE.
OK. I am NOT that girl. Please keep that in mind when I say THE FLOOR? INSIDE OF THE INDOOR WATER PARK? IS REALLY SLIPPERY!
I know? Right? Surprising! Shut up.
Within five minutes of arriving at Great Wolf, I slipped in the bathroom. And BROKE my TOE. It went POP, literally, like a big knuckle crack. Except painful. Throbbing. Not bendable. Yeah, welcome to your 24-hour vacation. Enjoy your stay.
I want to point out that there was no alcohol involved in this incident, though I did medicate my broken toe with copious amounts of rum and diet coke.
Needless to say, I was especially mindful of the slipperiness of the floor for the next 24 hours. And I saw a lot of people slipping. And falling. In varying degrees ranging from "whoopsie" to "holy shit, how is that not going to end in a lawsuit." Seriously.
So you've got to go in assuming that the floor of the indoor water park is going to be wet. And slippery. I get that.
But these are the doors that lead into the park.
At 8:45 a.m., fifteen minutes before the opening of the park, as I sipped my coffee while Carlie and her friend Emily attended the 8-9 a.m. Junior Lifeguard Training Class (oh yes, they did), I watched a staff member MOP THE FLOOR in front of the doors. MOP. with a bucket and water. Making the not even entered and not yet sullied floor WET and SLIPPERY in anticipation of the hoardes, I mean children, entering the park.