Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My amazing body


The human body is incredible. I marvel at the life cycle of pregnancy, at the feats of strength professional athletes accomplish, at the stories of survival under unbelievable circumstances.

And what is amazing me today about the human body is its complete and utter inability to maintain fitness on its own. What the hell? Talk about a flaw in the design.

In June I ran a half-marathon. That's 13+ miles. I trained for it. And I did it -- BOO YAH -- making me a *distance runner,* or so one would think.

Today I ran a 5k. That's 3.1 miles. I haven't trained but, come on, what's three stupid miles to a *distance runner*? 

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Seriously? Near death experience on the treadmill. AND ALL OVER THREE F*ING MILES. 

Yeah. Whatever, body.

MORAL OF THIS STORY: If you don't exercise, you will get fat* and die**.

So...

Dear Marathon Training,

I'm back.

xoxo - Shana

*Now that it is fall, I have pulled out my jeans. The jeans I wore back before it was summer. And they are all too tight. Like suck it in, baby, and don't sit down tight. Sucks to be me.

**Though I did not officially *die* while jogging today, my spirit, motivation and will to live did die for a little while

11 comments:

Kathy said...

well great, just great...better get my shovel out, eh?

Jen on the Edge said...

I'm heading out in a few minutes to my first-ever yoga class. I'm expecting to hurt pretty badly in an hour or two.

Joanna @ The Casa said...

Better you than me. I am totally envious of people who love to run. I just don't. I could walk a billion miles but put one hop in my step and I'm drenched in sweat and my brain feels like it came unattached from my skull. Just FYI. ;0)

katydidnot said...

i read an article today for school that said that 16% of people who intensely and accurately visualized themselves training a particular muscle, experienced muscle growth.

i'm thinking really hard about doing pushups.

oh, hello there michelle obama arms.

OneTiredEma said...

I try to run every Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday. Just a little bit--I don't even know how far I am going. Because even if I just push off Tuesday to Wednesday, I feel just that closer to death when I get out there. People think I am crazy, but really, who wants to feel like death?

Keetha said...

You go with your bad self. I'm impressed with the three miles!

Anna See said...

ouch. i tried to wear a pair of jeans today and i feel like i'm wearing a sausage casing. sadness.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

I am currently in this pissy place wherein I have diligently (though grudgingly, but still) done Wii Fit activities for a month or so yet my thighs are slightly plumper than when I did *nothing at all everyday.*

And so you are justified in being royally irritated with your body. I'm sorry.

booshy said...

I need to jump on that running bandwagon with you...fell off las April after our half...

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

I only run when something's chasing me. My muffin top is a solid statement about how safe this neighborhood is.

So glad you didn't die.

(Oh, re: elk...it's all about where it's from. High mountain meadows = nice lean mild meat, just like a cow. Lower elevation scrub-brush sage eatin' thing = wild gamey dark meat. Yuck.)

HB said...

Missed this post - I haven't been on line much. So..the offer from Facebook still stands - if you do a 10k I'll do a 10k. We are going away fro the weekend & there was a time I would have excitedly scouted running routes for us, now?? Not even sure I'll take the running shoes for a good walk...sad...