Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Deal Breaker

I went to the movie with a newish friend. And it turns out? She talks. During movies.

Uh, no.

Which got me to thinking. There are *some things* that I just can't tolerate in a friend. Wherein *some things* = OMG I AM HIGH MAINTENANCE AND WHY WOULD ANYONE EVEN WANT TO BE MY FRIEND TO BEGIN WITH?

A few examples...

I don't hang out with people with bratty assed kids. Being a parent of extremely obnoxious children myself, I do not hold other parents in judgment. But I can't handle being exposed to it. I might accidentally spank someone not related to me, which is not cool.

I don't hang out with people who put on airs. I don't even know what put on airs means, but my mom used to say it. But basically, if you are snobbier than me? You've got a problem.

I ended a friendship once with someone who went out and got her hair cut EXACTLY like mine. EXACTLY. And then came over to show me and say, LOOK, I GOT MY HAIR CUT EXACTLY LIKE YOURS. Um... creepy.

I have ended at least one friendships because the friend married an asshole. Even after me pointing out that she was marrying an asshole. Okay. So maybe technically in that instance she ended the friendship. But still.

I have cancelled a play date at the library when I realized the other mom was saying "li-barry."

And apparently? I can't hang with movie talkers. Who knew.

Do you have a deal breaker? Is there something you just cannot tolerate, that can make or break a friendship? And I don't mean, like, "I don't hang with psycho killers." Because, duh, *most* of us don't *knowingly* hang with psycho killers. I mean something more like the kind of thing that makes me look like less of a bitch right now because I am not returning movie talker's phone calls.


DietBuddy said...

OMG. That totally killed me! Yes, I do have a few deal breakers. One most recent was a friend "coach" of my 12 year old son that called him a BIG PU$$Y. Buh-bye. I once had a friend that slept with her bro-in-law. GROSS. That was a deal breaker. I really hate shopping with a friend that takes forever to buy somthing and doesn't care if I'm sitting in the "waiting chair" for hours on end. And, really bad, I need a rule to not be friends with my hair stylist -- I currently have one that cries about her love life and I leave with my hair looking like crap. Happy Holidays.

Tiffany said...

I stopped going to the movies with my parents cause they talk during the previews. I have high-standards.

The whole haircut thing - Hello, Single White Female!! And we all know how that ended!

I could go on!

trifitmom said...

ugh - i don't even want talking during a tv show ...

i can not be friends with any mom who is dressed to the nines at 9am drop off of preschool

anybody who talks on the cell while on the treadmill - KILL THEM NOW

the know it all

the mom who constantly talks about people she has had a falling out with most everyone she has known ??

Cat said...

My best high school friend was a movie-talker. I stuck with her for years, just didn't go to movies with her.

Some things that I have broken up friendships over are:

Drugging her children instead of making them behave.

Telling the exact same story over and over and over.

Trash talking her husband/mate constantly.

Anonymous said...

Deal breakers:

people who have no stories to tell (you know lived under a rock until college and then actually went to class and so on)

bossy (I amd the boss of me)

pouty or in a bad mood all the time (I am friends with someone to have some fun)

drugs or any illegal behavior

smelly or has hair where it shouldn't be

Also, I'm a movie-talker. But I don't go to movies because I know it annoys people.

Anna See said...

This is hilarious! I think you would like the way I pronounce library. Not a fan of how some people say chimley and oldtimers instead of chimney and alzheimers.

Dealbreakers for me? Hmmmmm....

Drama queens and perfect people.

Kathy said...

my deal-breakers....well, there isn't room enough to list them all and the list continues to grow but they would cast a bright halo over your head!

OneTiredEma said...

Dealbreaker for me: making racist or homophobic comments. I almost walked out of a group lunch once because of something someone said--if it had been at my house I would have gone postal.

My 5 yo says li-barry. Can we still be friends?

katydidnot said...

i had something witty to say, then read diet buddy, and i just am thinking where does she find these people who call her son vulgar names and sleep with their in-laws?

Janet said...

Nah, I'm pretty easy going. I can take a lot...but once things get to a point, whether it's drama or an argument that never gets solved, I'll end things.

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

It's very hard for me to eat with people who chew with their mouths open or talk with food in their mouth... that's why I usually just drink with most of my friends.

Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

I love the way my kids reprimand others for talking at the movies. I think I may have warped them with my crazy.

Then again, you'd befriend them so maybe they are warped, just right.

HB said...

People with out of control kids keep me away because since I have no children I expect everyone to raise theirs to my standards. Occasional melt downs I can drink through but 24/7 - see ya!!

Keetha said...

What a great post. I really cannot abide when people talk to me when I'm reading. I'm READING. Busy!

Of course, my husband does it all the time so apparently I'm a lot of talk.