Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Oh, sometimes I just crack myself up


Apparently the home sales market is perking up, because after not fielding a realtor call on my FSBO house since November, I received two today. Either the market is looking up, or I should not ever renew my Craigslist ad on a Tuesday. Either or. Anyhoo...

Phone rings (again)

ME: Hello?
HIM: Hi, Shawna*. My name is Slick Dick** and I'm a buyer's agent with Eff Me Realty**. I'm sure you've gotten your share of phone calls from realtors, ha ha, but I'm not trying to solicit your listing. I work exclusively with buyers. I like to keep my finger on the pulse of the market and stay aware of everything that is available, which is how I saw that your house is currently for sale. Where are you moving to?
ME: We're planning on purchasing a townhouse at the Beautiful People Live Here Complex. And we already have a realtor that we're working with for that.
HIM: Great. Listen, I'll get right to the point of my phone call. What can I do to help you sell your home?
ME: Well, you know, actually, it would be extremely helpful if you brought over a buyer, one who has money, and they bought my house. That would be awesome.
HIM: Um uh um okay...
ME: So, great, thanks so much for calling, and if someone comes along and wants to buy my house, we'd love to have you bring them over. Thanks so much. Buh-bye.

Click.

Oh, sometimes I just crack myself up.

*My name is Shana, rhymes with Hannah. Not Shawna rhymes with Fauna or Shaina rhymes with Braina.

**Names have not been changed to protect the innocent. Because? No such thing as an innocent salesman. Yuck yuck yuck.

5 comments:

Cat said...

What percentage of people pronounce your name correctly? Hubby and kids last name is pronounce just like it is spelled (just like your), but it is mispronounced 97% of the time. It's very frustrating when the kids' teacher can't get it right.

Anna See said...

You crack me up too!

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Good stuff; you should field phone calls from parents of my students sometimes.

Lyn Hart said...

So glad you like my artwork! The point is - not all Realtors are Slick Dicks. Lyn Hart(www.lynhart.ca)

Shana said...

Hi Lyn, sorry that I did not give proper credit for your artwork. You did an excellent job on it and should be pleased to know it pops up immediate on a google image search for slick realtors : )

And I agree, the post was in jest. Not all realtors are slick or dicks. Both of my parents were realtors. My point is just to find some humor in the circling of sharks that has commenced since hanging out the FSBO sign.