Saturday, November 20, 2010

Living in the Hurt Locker

I'm trying to figure out why this week has so thoroughly kicked my ass. I worked, but not considerably more than usual. Carlie was home Monday and Tuesday with a cold, but considering she is the girl who never goes to school, that was nothing new. Toss in a dance lesson, a couple of trips to the gym and a feeble attempt to get a head start on Christmas shopping and, really, you've got a whole bunch of nothing. And yet? OMFG, I am exhausted.

Tim is gone for the weekend, fishing, leaving Carlie and I here to fend for ourselves. This never really goes as well as one would expect it to go. Case in point...

I decided to finish up a sewing project, but it was really cold downstairs, in the room where the sewing machine is, where there is no heat. So I plugged in a space heater that was left here by our landlords. And, of course, EVERYTHING WENT DARK. Of course it did.

I was about to say we blew a fuse, but that's so archaic. We tripped a breaker. I flipped it back on, after some screaming by Carlie, who had been taken by surprise by the sudden plunge into pitch black darkness. All in all, it was quite a non-event. Things were dark. Then they were light again. NO BIG WOOP.

Until the burglar alarm starting going off when the power kicked back on.

HELLO, WE HAVE AN ALARM SYSTEM? How did I not know this? Needless to say, I have NO IDEA how to disarm it.

I called our landlord, whose response was, HUH? GO FIGURE, THAT NEVER WENT OFF WHEN WE LIVED THERE. They have no paperwork, no code, no nothing for the alarm. It was here when they bought the condo and they've never used it. Helpful!

The godawful alarm shrieking stopped and was replaced by a consistent and steady beeping and flashing of a yellow light labeled "trouble." Progress!

I decided to "fiddle" with the alarm keypad to see if there was an "off" or "cancel" or "STFU" button. (FYI: there's not.) wherein "fiddling" with the keypad = not knowing my own brute strength because it FELL OFF OF THE WALL where it was then DANGLING from a HOLE IN THE WALL by three wires. The wires are red, green and yellow, in case you're wondering.

The rational part of my brain was aware of the fact that we were in no danger, yet in the other 99% of my brain I was the Hurt Locker guy and needed to figure out which wire to cut.

In the end, I cut no wires, because I was hungry, so I decided to make dinner. Which is all fine and good except for the part where we have no food in the house. I dug in to some delicious hummus with chives, and as I am savoring the hummus-y goodness, it occurs to me that the hummus I bought did not have chives, and, yeah, I am eating moldy hummus.

All was not lost as I was able to cook a nice hot dinner for Carlie and I of crescent rolls. That's all. Just crescent rolls. FTW!

Whatever else I might have to bitch about, one thing is for sure. Never a dull moment around here.


Lisa Wheeler Milton said...

It is wrong that I enjoyed this post so thoroughly considering it comes at your expense. But you lead the funniest life. To me. Not to you, no doubt because that's how these things go.

I hope the man returneth soon with fish & other non-moldy foodstuffs.

And rest dear one. It's allowed.

trifitmom said...