Monday, September 8, 2008

An Open Letter

Dear Fitness Instructors of the World,

Thank you for your hard work and dedication to "the cause" of getting my ass in shape. Your devotion is appreciated. With every "You've got it now!" and "Looking good!" that you chant through your headset microphone, I know how much you truly care.

But if I were to offer a little constructive criticism, I might suggest that you put careful thought into your playlist. Not everyone likes COUNTRY MUSIC at CRACK O'DAWN O'CLOCK. Seriously. In fact, for some of those less motivated exercise wannabes who are struggling to make it to your 5:30 am class, COUNTRY MUSIC could be just the thing that turns them back to a life of sloth.

Also, in a small class setting where you know everyone by name, when you have a new person come in for your class, while it is nice to introduce yourself and learn their name, it is probably not necessary to YELL their name through your amplified HEADSET every FIVE MINUTES to let them know they've "Got it now" and are still "Looking good!" If said newbie were perhaps a bit self-conscious or even adverse to group exercise classes, this could definitely be a turn off.

And lastly, might I suggest that when you have two women YAPPING their freaking HEADS OFF at a normal conversational tone in the middle of the room and all through the class, you might suggest they try using their whisper voices, or that they take their conversation about carpooling thier satan spawn to soccer outside, or even that they perhaps SHUT THE HELL UP AND EXERCISE. Seriously.

Again, I thank you for your efforts. My back fat thanks you for your efforts. So, please, "Keep it up!" because you're "Looking good!"

Yours in fitness,


Keetha said...

I don't think even here in Mississippi anyone would play country western at 5:30 a.m. Or, not in an exercise class, I should say.

Delita said...

He-he-he! Oh, how I hate some of the gym smugness. ;-) Thank God for CrossFit! Delita, or, er, xfitgramma