Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Stuff That Is Yuck

I had my teeth cleaned today. That in and of itself is not particularly yuck, but, seriously, I would NOT want to be a dental hygienist. That ranks up there in my top five grodiest jobs of all time. And much like a pedicure person, I am SO glad that someone is willing to go through the training and do this job because I am thankful that I can go in and have a pedicure, or my teeth cleaned, as the case may be. But, man, I cannot fathom doing that for a living. So, to all the dental care professionals (and pedicure professionals too), thank you.

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After having my teeth cleaned, Taco Bell sounded good for lunch. Why? I have no idea. I have not eaten Taco Bell in I don't know how many months, but for some reason, chalupa, yum, so through the drive through I went. One chalupa and one taco later, I think I am going to barf. It was so disgusting. Hopefully my "that sounds good" mania will now be cured for all things drive through (I can dream).

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Haiku is not yuck. Haiku is the opposite of yuck. My friend in Louisiana emailed me to ask "WTF with the haiku, dude? Haiku? Seriously?" (That's a quote from the email.) Here's my answer: I heart haiku! I have had haiku infatuation since about fourth or fifth grade, especially with saying the word haiku. Haiku. Love that. And "back in the day" I composed many love-themed and devotion-themed haiku poems dedicated to Sean Cassidy and Peter Frampton. Seriously. Then I, um, grew up and stopped being a dweeb, and forgot about haiku. But a few years ago my sister rekindled the haiku fettish when she was, you'll love this, writing for a website, doing a weekly sports highlight kind of wrap up thing. But it had to be in haiku. How fun is that? So when I am bored, I start to think in haiku, and through the magic of mobile blogging, ta da, it was posted.

So, no, I am not working on a book of haiku, thank you very much. I doubt there is much market for that. But it would be a fun project.

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Top Four Jobs I Do Not Ever Want To Do:
1. Pedicure person
2. Dental anything
3. Assembly line in a chicken processing plant (heard this was pretty fowl, haha, get it? fowl?)
4. Anything near a slaughterhouse

Top Four Things In General I Do Not Ever Want To Do Again:
1. Move
2. Search for a job
3. Be on the dating scene (seriously, how horrible would that be?)
4. Teach a child of mine how to drive (though I have two more to go through it with)

Top Four Dream Jobs That I Would So Kick Ass At:
1. Judge on Project Runway
2. Pithy side kick on wacky morning radio show
3. Screenwriter for 24, plotting Jack Bauer's next misadventure
4. Fact checker for VH1 "Behind the Music" or "Where Are They Now" episodes about 80's rockers and TV personalities

As you can see, I should'a been in show biz. Hit the comments with your Top Four anything.

2 comments:

Deece said...

OMG too funny!

I just had my teeth cleaned on Monday. Not fun. Will be writing about the experience later on. And afterward...I had Taco Bell. A Chalupa. I kid you not.

Found you through All Med.

krista said...

I would be a really good taster. I have an amazing sense of taste and smell. When you were talking about the cat pee, I was thinking to myself that I could have located it immediately.
I could be a food critic or better yet, work in tandem with a writer. I could eat, they could write.
I would also be very very good at writing commercials. That seems like it would be the most cush job in the world!