Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Hello, Hello. I'm in a place called vertigo (I think)

I woke up this morning feeling like my normal I-don't-want-to-get-out-of-bed self. I sat up, put my feet on the floor and stood up. And turned into that guy falling down the swirly vertigo hole straight to hell. Full on. Head swimming. Eyes unable to focus. Nausea from 0-60 in 5 seconds flat.

I tried to shake it off, walked to the bathroom and walked right into the wall. Hard. I stumbled back to the bed and sat on the bed wondering what was going on. The whole thing was surreal.

Tim was downstairs getting Carlie's breakfast. He comes up with a crisis brewing, she has no clean skorts for school.  Only skirts. My actual response to my husband regarding my darling nine year old child was "fuck her." I actually said that. "Fuck her. She can wear a skirt." Me dropping the F bomb is not cause for concern, but in this context my husband asked, "Are you okay?" And I couldn't talk, because another wave of complete and horrifying dizziness swept over me.

I said, "I don't feel so great. Check the dryer for a skort," and he went down to the laundry room, but no skorts in the dryer. He brought of a basket of clean clothes from the dryer, and sat it on the floor. I bent over to pick up the basket and start folding the clothes, and nausea came on fast enough that I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. The sound of Carlie wailing and howling like a coyote on acid was the only thing I could hear over my retching. Literally WAILING and HOWLING because she has to wear a skirt instead of a skort.

Her dad told her to go back to bed. And he told me to go back to bed. So we both went back to bed. He threw her skort in the dryer and let her sleep for half an hour. 

I laid in bed watching the room spin and feeling like I have the mother of all hangovers... except I have had no alcohol or mind-altering substances. What if this is my new reality? What if I have to spend the rest of my life with a hangover that I didn't even righteously earn? What if a spider crawled into my ear and laid eggs and hatching spider babies are throwing off my equilibrium? 

Tim took Carlie to school and went to work. He's putting in a half day, then coming home. If I am still dizzy, we're going to the doctor. I'm going to hang out here in bed until he comes back at lunchtime. I feel fine as long as I don't move. If I lay here, I am okay. If I sit up and doof around on the laptop, I am okay once I get over the bout of dizziness caused by the motion of sitting up. If I stand up, I feel dizzy but I don't fall down. If I try to walk a straight line, it becomes a zigzag against my will. 

I wish I had a little bell to ring for people to fetch me things, like food and the remote. But I don't have a bell, and even if I did there is no one here to fetch. This is so fucked up.

3 comments:

Lee said...

Ooh, I've never had vertigo but I've heard how much it sucks. I hope it resolves quickly.

HB said...

Maybe an inner ear problem? Pregnant?
A bit of undigested meat? (a line from the best Christmas movie A Christmas Carol starring Alastair Simm circa 1951)

God - that sucks - I hope you feel better!

Feener said...

i have had vertigo, oh the HELL that it is ...i never figured out what caused it, i just know that it is unbearable.