Why can I not operate an iPod?

Since I now have a Mac (yay!) I decided to load all of my CDs onto it and commandeer Carlie's unused iPod nano. Time to retire my Creative Zen Vision:M because, hello, it is the size of a brick. The CD loading took, like, a week, but I now have 900+ songs in my iTunes. And now I have them on the iPod as well.

This morning I hit the gym, hit the treadmill for my two mile jog as part of my 10k training program. I have a VERY REGIMENTED running playlist. Seriously. It's totally anal, but the songs are certain tempo for certain lengths of time and it's all JUST SO and that's how I roll.

I cue up the running playlist, and start my jog. Songs 1-3 are all U2 and are perfectly timed so at my slow jog pace I will hit the one mile mark at the end of song 3. See how that works, that anal thing?

I'm running my heart out, communing with Bono spiritually, and I decide to TOUCH the iPod. MISTAKE! The thing goes batshit and now I am running to the Jonas Brothers and I have no idea how to make it stop.

Options: unplug headphones and run in silence or listen to the Jonas Brothers. By the time I realized I actually DO have options and could take the headphones off even though I don't know how to turn the iPod off, the Jonas Brothers were over and I was just getting this random mix of my 900+ songs.

I don't DO random. Random makes my head explode. 

I see people who are on the verge of developmentally delayed ALL THE TIME operating iPods and they seem to manage just fine, so I know it can't be all that complicated. Do you realize that the thing has no clearly labeled ON/OFF button? Am I the only one who finds that annoying? Come on, how hard would it be to add that little feature?

But I see these people with their iPods, and I know it can't be that difficult, yet I can't conquer it. Similar to my efforts at sewing. I know people that I am FAR SUPERIOR TO INTELLECTUALLY, and they can sew beautifully, ergo I should be able to sew too because, hello, I am smarter than you. But not so, as illustrated by my many failed attempts at sewing craftiness.

Back to the gym and the iPod. The whole thing was very disturbing. But lessons I learned on the treadmill today:

Shiny Happy People by REM actually makes me feel shiny and happy

The Suzuki Violin Book 2 CD is not good for running to, no offense to the "Happy Farmer"

It is impossible to turn off the music and step off of the treadmill and take a shower and get ready for work when the hotness of Anthony K. is demanding that you GIVE IT AWAY, GIVE IT AWAY, GIVE IT AWAY NOW.