Soccer Trophies, Part II

I swear, I will shut up about the friggin' soccer trophies. I will.

But today was our second to last soccer game. And the day to pay for the trophies. The trophies that were ordered after I gave a very moving and poignant speech about how we shouldn't be giving the girls trophies every time they sneeze, and the coach ordered them anyway and then told us how much we owed. And I was like, I think I said I didn't want a trophy for my daughter and and he was like, well, the girls voted on having trophies.

Not to be a bitch, but my kid is only allowed to vote for stuff that she is paying for herself. You don't ask the children to vote on having their parents buy them something. That is ridiculous. Here's a fun idea, let's let the kids vote for what we eat for dinner from now on. I know what we'll be having, Kit Kat bars and rootbeer. Yay!

Anyway, so I was just in a pissy mood about having to pay the $8.25 for this trophy today. So I devised this ingenious plan. After the game (in the rain, which we lost 100 to zero to the worst team of all time, but, I should shut up, because they're apparently not the worst team anymore!) -- after the game, I go up to the coach with my $8.25 in my hand, and he smiles really big and says, Oh, yeah, I am so looking forward to collecting your money especially, and he's all hahaha, funny shit, right? And I said, here's the deal, I will give you my money IF AND ONLY IF you listen to everything I have to say about this stupid trophy situation. If you don't want to hear it anymore, you can pay for the trophy yourself.

And he stopped smiling, and he said, keep your money, I don't want to hear it again.

So I put my money back in my pocket and walked to the car, and was telling Tim about the exchange and I was like, and he was like, and hahaha taught him a lesson about ordering trophies and I was all smuggy and proud of myself and my nine year old child, who was soaking wet and freezing cold after playing for an hour in the mud, burst into insane tears because OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU NOT GET ME A TROPHY I MIGHT DIE RIGHT NOW OF A TROPHY DEFICIENCY.

There is absolutely no winning in this situation.