Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yay for President Obama, but...

... can we talk about me for a minute? Yes, I am happy the election went my way. Yes, I am looking forward to having a NOT REPUBLICAN in the White House. Yes, I drank copious amounts of alcohol while watching the election results and we even did fireworks when it was official.

Now, back to me. Yesterday I spent the day fretting about the election. FRETTING. Seriously. And I started to think, wow, is this what a bona fide anxiety disorder would feel like? And then I told myself it was purely situational and once the Super Tuesday drama was behind us, I would feel fine.

But when my guy won? And I was all tearful and celebratory and happy? My first and foremost thought was: is he wearing a bulletproof vest. And oh, my God, our new president is going to be assassinated and how will I explain that to my nine-year-old who is waving her flag in front of the TV (sit down, I can't see!) right now? And last week, when I was having the vertigo? On the way to the doctor (Thursday) I was thinking, what if this never goes away? I hope the assisted suicide measure passes (it did). Next thought: what is wrong with me that I would be thinking about THAT right NOW?

My thoughts are just constantly swirling (vertigo-like) and I can go from "I feel dizzy" to "Who will do my daugher's hair for my funeral when I have to kill myself because I am dizzy" in, like, 20 seconds.

I think I am developing an anxiety disorder. Is that something one develops or would it just be a full-on onset and I'd be freaking out over everything and really this is not how it would happen? Because I am feeling VERY EDGY. About the president. About my dad's health. About paying my bills. About the holidays. About every-fucking-thing. And this is so not me.

5 comments:

HB said...

Oh, oh - anxiety like your's is not good. especially BEFORE the holidays - yikes! So, after I leave you that little bit of helpful news...maybe it's hormones - I'm having my own personal summers - shit! Take a deep breath, meditate and stop watching all the plastic surgey shows. Seriously - hope you feel better and let the Secret Service worry about our new president!
: - )

My Name is Cat said...

I was worried about Obama being assassinated last night, too. It's sad that we have to worry about that. As for the other stuff, I hope it is just a passing thing and isn't around to stay.

Feener said...

you need some ZEN !!! anxiety is the pits. i too am worried about him and his family. however i also want him to speak out about the philly guys who tried to intimidate voters at the polls. said....there are always some folks who will ruin it for others.

Anna See said...

I thought I was the only one who was thinking about this last night.

Keetha said...

Oh, dear, that does sound like anxiety, which is no fun to suffer from, I know. They make a pill for that, so there is that.