Saturday, March 21, 2009

Are you saying I do not possess a CALM DEMEANOR and ALL AROUND LEVEL-HEADEDNESS?

Have you ever really NOT wanted something, yet still got annoyed when it was not offered to you, and offered to someone else, like, say, your husband, for no apparent reason, and you wonder how your husband's name came up in these discussions about this thing that you don't want, and if they were talking about your husband, then logically the next step is that they also talked about you, but decided that YOU were not the one they wanted to ask about the thing, but your husband instead. Haters.

As a side note, I recently took the How Narcissistic Are You test by Dr. Drew, via the link at June's blog, Bye Bye Pie (which is funny, go read it now if you don't read it already). I was tickled pink to see the link because I had been cracking up at the test results of the staffers on the Howard Stern Show (which is where I learned the term "dirty sanchez" fyi) and so I was happy to take the test and see how I compared.

And it turns out? I scored 30. Which is, um, pretty high. And indicates that I am extremely self centered, egocentric and also feel superior to everyone around me. Which only reinforces my need to tell this story, because now I KNOW FOR SURE that everyone REALLY IS enthralled by the minutia of my life. And now, back to the story.

I'll preface by saying I have over-committed volunteer-wise at Carlie's school/our church. I am chairing the used uniform committee, which is a big commitment which involves collecting, sorting and marking hundreds of pieces of clothing and then putting on a multiple day sale. I am the "manager" of the church gift shop. And I work on the school auction, which is a huge project. In fact, I just told the Parent's Club (which is like PTA at other schools) that I will handle uniforms for one more year and then someone else needs to step up. 

So there you see where I am coming from. I don't need or want another volunteer commitment, and if someone were to ask me to volunteer for something, I'd have to decline. Because? Need to work more hours at jobs that actually pay.

Now let's preface Tim's involvement. He goes to mass maybe twice a month, and that's if Carlie is singing in the choir. And it's a big maybe. He NEVER goes to the school. He's at work. The school drop off and pick up are my domain. And in fact, he checked Carlie out of school early on Thursday and my friend (who works at the school) sent me a text message saying he held up quite well under the office staff's inquisition of "Wow, we never see you here. What are you doing here?" So that's where he is on the school/church participation continuum. If I am an 8/10, he's a 2/10.

So imagine my surprise when I listen to the voice mail today and there's a message from someone at the Parish, who makes a point of saying multiple times that this MESSAGE IS FOR TIM, implying hey, Shana, if you're listening, GO GET TIM, because apparently right now we are ALL ABOUT TIM.

And the message is asking him to make a 3-year commitment to be on the Pastoral Committee, which makes decisions about churchy stuff. EXCUSE ME? THE MAN DOESN'T EVEN GOOOOOO TO CHURCH. Huh?

And the reason that they would like him to consider this is because of his, and I quote, "calm demeanor and all around level-headedness," implying UNLIKE YOUR PSYCHO WIFE, WHO BY THE WAY, IF YOU'RE LISTENING, THIS MESSAGE IS NOT FOR YOU.

So, in summary, I am irked by the implication that I am unfit for a volunteer position which I do not want. And by implication, I mean the fact that I am totally taking everything said on the message, which was NOT MEANT FOR ME, and making it ALL ABOUT ME. Because? Hello, 30 on the Are You A Narcissist quiz.


Jen on the Edge said...

I'm guessing they want his involvement because of his calm personality, but also because they want him to be more involved. :-)

Fantastic Forrest said...

I think it's totally awesome that you have this self knowledge and understand that there is NO WAY IN HELL anyone is ever going to describe you as possessing a calm demeanor and all-around level-headedness.

But y'know what, lil drama queen?


And that's not even the Amaretto you gave me talking.

You don't need no stinking Pastoral Committee. You just need to hang out with me more often and tell me more about your incredibly exciting life.

Is that feeding your narcissism?

Cat said...

1st, I love the way you tag this post Church, WTF.

Secondly, knowing the Catholic church as I do, the reason they want Tim to make church decisions has a lot less with his calm demeanor and a lot more with his possession of a penis. Because we all know, people lacking that certain piece of equipment can't be put in change anything church related.

Anna See said...

Oh my goodness. This is so darn funny. I love how you didn't want to do it, but you are peeved they asked him. Sounds like me.

bernthis said...

Grouch Marx, I believe, said he wouldn't want to be a part of any club that wanted him as a member. I loved this post.