Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I'm not exactly what you might call *fiscally minded*


So? What? Sue me. I like stuff. I especially like to buy stuff. No crime in that.

But as part of our big downsizing adventure, the buying of new stuff doesn't really fit in. Thankfully, we don't have *much* consumer debt, but we do have a mortgage, and a home equity line of credit, and my student loans. And as of last week, an IRS payment plan for the next year. Thanks, Uncle Sam! I'm not bitter. 35% self-employment tax sounds perfectly reasonable! Fuckers.

When I say we don't have *much* consumer debt, I should actually be saying we don't have *any* consumer debt. Except, see, here's the thing. After several years of NOT HAVING ANY CREDIT CARDS? We now have a credit card. One that accumulates Alaska Air miles, to be exact. Because Tim is going to Alaska on a week-long fishing trip in the fall.

In theory, the plan is sound. I have some medical bills to pay off. Instead of paying them with a check, let's pay them with an Alaska Air credit card and get air miles, then write the check to Visa instead. Look at us! Working the system! It's basically like my gallbladder is paying for Tim to get a free ticket to Alaska.

See? The theory is sound.

But in reality, things sometimes go awry, wherein *sometimes go awry* = Shit Happens! Shut Up! Don't Judge!

It is at this point in the tale of my economic downfall that I'd like to point out, I STILL DON'T HAVE AN iPAD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. That right there? Means I am fiscally maturing.

But I digress. One medical bill on the Visa becomes two medical bills on the Visa, becomes this months dance classes for Carlie on the Visa and then BAM we have a Visa bill for the month that equals more than I can pay for the month and, voila, we have rejoined the ranks of EVERY ONE ELSE IN AMERICA with the stupid consumer debt.

On the plus side, it's like a thousand bucks and we'll pay it off next month. On the minus side, it reopened the can of worms in our house called BUDGET NEGOTIATIONS and, la la la la, I can't hear you, Tim. Budget schmudget.

Except that this time? The budget schmudget discussion? Got kind of ugly. With the end result of me (having a hissy fit) making a mature and well-thought out decision to STOP HANDLING ANY HOUSEHOLD MONEY. For real.

So I am no longer carrying a debit or credit card. I have cash. Cash for what I need. And then when the cash is spent, I obviously don't need anything else. Bwahahahaha.

But today, I needed groceries. So I took $40 cash to the grocery store, because I didn't need a lot of groceries, just some fresh produce to go with the salmon and pork roast that I pulled out of the freezer to get us through the rest of the week. And cat food. And Snapple. And feta cheese. You can probably see where this is going.

So, in sum, I have a newsflash for you. $40 is not enough to buy shit! I know for some of you that news flash actually came out in, like, the early Nineties when you became adults and starting doing your own shopping. So maybe it's more of a news reflash. Whatever it is... it bears repeating. $40 is not enough to buy shit!

That's it. There's really no point here other than (a) I am now functioning on a cash only basis, because when I say I'm going to make a point, I make a point and (b) shit is expensive! and (c) I still don't have an iPad.




4 comments:

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

I really thought this was going to end up with you saying you ordered an iPad and me a little bit aroused. Darn it.

Cat said...

If I get out of the grocery store for less than $50, I think I'm doing great.

Keetha said...

Me, too, Cheri! I totally saw this ending with your having a new iPad. Instead, you have a new cash-only environment. How long do you have to prove this point?

San Diego Momma said...

Your points are sound and non-i-Padish.

Do you have an iPhone? B/c maybe you could tape an Always with Wings on it and pretend it's an iPad.

I have more budget-friendly ideas like this! Call me!