Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I am not making this up

So I am in my room, sorting school uniform orders and minding my own business, when Krissy (my son's girlfriend) calls from downstairs, in a semi-frantic way, "Shana, Shana!" and I think, oh crap, Carlie is probably throwing up or something. And Krissy calls out, "Shana, come quick, Taylor has a bug in his ear!"

Huh? What?

I go downstairs to find my 19 year old son frantically jabbing into his ear with a long pointy so-not-ear-friendly item and crying. I said, "What are you doing!!" and grab his hand to stop him from jabbing his ear. He's crying and yelling, "There's a bug in my ear! There's a bug in my ear!"

I try to look into his ear, which is pretty impossible because, hello, ears are small and not easy to look into without one of those doctor ear looking things. So I tell him, "Go out on the deck where there is better light and let me look," and I run up to my bathroom to get q-tips.

I meet him out on the deck, where he is sitting with his head down in his palms, elbows on knees, crying into his hands, "Get it out! Get it out!" Knowing that my son has a, shall we say, flare for the dramatic, I am surprisingly unfazed by this whole encounter at this point.

I gently swab his ear with a q-tip and he SCREAMS in pain. I try again with another q-tip and he SCREAMS in pain again. I hand him the q-tips and start to say, "Why don't you try to swab it yourself," but before I can get all of the words out a GIGANTIC BUG comes FLYING out of his EAR. WTF? May I repeat... W T F ??

The crying stops, and he is still rubbing his ear, and I ask, "Does your ear still hurt?" He says, "No, but what if it laid eggs in my ear?"

I said, laughingly, "Oh, honey, that's an urban legend."

He said, "HOW CAN YOU LAUGH AND SAY IT'S URBAN LEGEND? DID YOU NOT JUST SEE THE GIANT BUG FLY OUT OF MY EAR?"

He's got a point.

I asked him how the bug got in his ear. He said he heard a bug buzzing and reached up, swatted it away, and felt it go into his ear.

So gross.

If anyone knows how to ensure that there are no bug eggs in his ear canal, please do tell.

4 comments:

Lisa Milton said...

Now that is disturbing. Here's hoping it was a manly bug.

Anna See said...

I have no advice for you. I actually picked up lice on vacation last week and am in my own little bug hell.

Sherry said...

Your life is so much more exciting than mine. God, poor kid with a bug in his ear. That's so disgusting.

Rogue Scholar said...

**SHIVERS*** That totally reminds me of the ER episode from one of the early seasons where that lady comes in and Carter pulls a freaking huge roach out of her ear.. ughh... I hate bugs