... the phone rang, and it was someone looking for a transcript that I theoretically did for them, wherein theoretically means was SUPPOSED to do and DID NOT do at all, not even a little bit, not even started on it. And I was all, OH CRAP, THAT'S RIGHT, I HAVE A JOB. I don't know how I keep forgetting that.
But remember when I was dizzy with the whole faux brain tumor thing and laying in bed for days? And that resulted in me being behind in work? Yeah, well I forgot to get caught up.
So I scrambled to my desk, worked until 1:30 pm, threw on work clothes and went to a deposition at 2 pm, WITHOUT A SHOWER might I just add. Did the depo, which was a BRILLIANT divorce case between a tweeker-looking chick and her HOT husband who has left her for another man. At least it was a job that kept me awake, unlike the usual monotony of dumb ass 1 rear-ending dumb ass 2 in the Walmart parking lot at 10 mph and now dumb ass 1 claims he will never be able to work again. That's what my work day usually looks like. You're welcome.
Anyway, depo from 2 - 4 pm, picked up Carlie from her sleepover, came home and got BACK in my not a Henry Miller desk chair and worked until 8 pm, taking only enough time out to eat a microwaved turkey burger and a bag of cheetos. And all the while, typing with one hand and clutching my stomach with the other, producing gigantic, explosive, thunderous burps because, OMG, I have the worst indigestion ever known to mankind. It is possible that my brain tumor has migrated into a stomach tumor and probably I should take a valium and go to bed now.
So yes, Lee, I do WATCH a lot of television (thanks for noticing!), but it comes at a price. If I could find a way to make watching television my job and get paid for it, I would be the happiest girl in the world. And if I could marry Tivo and have his baby, I would so do it.