Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Authorin' 101 ... aka How to Write a Book for Dummies

If anyone has a copy, please send it over. 

You see, I have this great idea for a book swirling around in my head. And when I think about it, I feel like an amazing genius, full of best-seller potential. But when I try to get it out of my head? It all falls apart. And the whole thing? Is kind of making me mental.

Other than me having a slow-burning nervous breakdown, the latest news around here is... Carlie got a cell phone! NOT. But she's using one for a month. And she's had her non-cell phone for 24 hours now and I SWEAR TO GOD I AM NOT EXAGGERATING has racked up over 200 text messages. And the only people she has texted are me and her two sisters (pray for our sanity). 

My oldest daughter, Maggy, left our family plan with a month remaining on her contract. And yes, I made her pay for the month. But as  result, we have this extra cell phone, paid for, for a month. I figured what's the harm, and let Carlie have it. HOLY SHIT. I have created a beast and I have no doubt she will die a little bit when the month is over and the phone is removed from her hands.

In related news, I broke up with Qwest DSL yesterday (booyah!) and I *think* we're going to also be saying goodbye to our Qwest landline as well, in which case our "house phone" will be a cell phone, and that way Carlie can continue to text her two sisters 100 TIMES A DAY because I know they love that.

We're switching to Clear for Internet. Hopefully this will not end tragically, as oftentimes I have found change = tragedy. Cross your fingers. Anyone using Clear? If it sucks, please tell me now.

Project Declutter is winding down. I have officially gone through every closet, drawer, cabinet, cupboard, nook and cranny in this house and sorted things into (a) garage sale (b) goodwill (c) pack and save it and (d) shit we use. I have one final rubbermaid bin of assorted craft items to purge through and then, that's it. I'm done. Our house is looking rather amazing as a result and with 30% less crap in the house, hopefully it will be easier to keep it looking good during the selling process.

Speaking of the selling process... I am working on a FSBO web site. If you are so inclined, check it out and give feedback. Not, like, "wow, cute house" feedback (though thanks!) because, honest, I'm not fishing for compliments here. But really, if you see any areas that I can improve on, or have FSBO tips and hints, bring it. The site is still a work in progress and I have not uploaded pictures of everything yet.

I'm feeling kind of blah and blech and meh today and after working on transcripts this morning have just been lounging the afternoon away. But now? It's time to scarf some food and go to ballroom dance. Have I told you that we're now spending three to four nights per week at the Arthur Murray dance studio? Because? Next superstar in training, is why. The good news: it's blocks from home, inside (vs. soccer) and has a comfy couch. So I'll continue to support the dance habit until school resumes in the fall. Then we'll have to reevaluate, because this is way too much time to put into something while school is in session. Unless, of course, she gets hired by a new child-star version of Dancing With The Tween Stars, in which case I'll be going to LA as her manager/tutor.


stephanie (bad mom) said...

Dancing with the Tween Stars - you know the Jonas Brothers will be all over that. [squeeeee!]

Best of luck overcoming the blahblechmehs.

Kathy said...

A Clear rep came to the door a few weeks ago selling a "great" deal...home internet/phone for 45 bucks a month for life. Well when I called to ask more questions I was told I had been misled and that was for the slow speed. sigh
And the mobile internet is per computer which isn't practical when a family all wants to get on at one me a family that isn't! I really wanted Clear to be the answer and was looking forward to dumping Comcast's greedy ass! So what great plan did you get with Clear?
...and when is your sale?

Keetha said...

I think I'd move the kitchen paragraph so it's the third paragraph and then move the one about the family room so it's the last one.

Great reading description, by the way. If I was in the market for a home there, I'd be interested. :-)

I think bad mom has got something there with the Dancing With the Tween Stars.

Jen on the Edge said...

I think the Bono poster in the kitchen is what's going to sell your house.

In the obviously very girly bedroom, I'd suggest either moving the dresser out of the closet to make the closet seem more spacious or at least remove that photo from the website so that potential buyers don't look at it and think "Tiny bedrooms, tiny closets. Deal breaker."

(My parents used to be the #1 realtors in their community, so I've learned a few things from them about staging.)

Anna See said...

I know I'm NOT supposed to say it, but I LOVE your house. I wish I could buy it.

I would consider ditching the words cool and awesome from your descriptions to keep them a little more formal. If Carlie can stand it, I'd consider painting her room a blah color. Keep in mind that J's room is neon green w/ a blue stripe, and M's is hot pink and leopard print. :)

You should be proud of all you decluttering. I bet you are pooped, but all that work means $$$$.

Cat said...

I've read about 10 novel writing books, and you see how far that's gotten me. I just read First Draft in 30 days by Karen S. Wiesner, and it is the most practical step by step book I've read. I am using the method right now, although it is going to take me a whole lot longer than 30 days. I think she's thinking you're going to spend 8 hours a day writing.

chacha said...

I love your house - I'm a sucker for a craftsman.

The only thing I noticed was the bright colors in some of the rooms, namely the one bathroom and what looks like Carlie's room. I would probably paint the bathroom something neutral...